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sorry-i-ship-drarry · 4 years ago

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Prompt: 8th Year Fic where Quidditch+ the events of DH have resulted in Ron being really toned and muscular which he flaunts for Hermione at any opportunity (she rolls her eyes but she secretly LOVES it). Draco finds out and in his endless quest to one-up Ron, starts doing GOOFY shit to bulk up. Insanely complicated and ineffective workout routines, repulsive protein shakes etc. Harry can't help but find it oddly adorable

( I absolutely love this request )

8th year , post war .

" Ron you have got to keep your head up high ,you can't afford to miss one goal . It's the first match of the season and losing this would mean our scores would be low all year" harry tells Ron who was brushing off his broom .

" I know harry , I know , you keep your head up high for he snitch , you know malfoy is back in the game and can't deny he's always after you. I've heard he's been working hard this year " Ron nodded .

" hey by the way what's the news over new uniforms , I can't wear the old ones , it would be like my ass on display and we don't want any distractions , right mione ?" Ron smirked . Harry snickered while Hermione rolled her eyes .

" you should keep the blushing to the minimum mione " harry whispered . Hermione hit harry with a book , obviously.

" I'm not sure , I've talked with madame Hooch but I think for the first game you might have to wear the old ones and mione would have to be distracted " harry snickered .

" you're both arseholes " Hermione rolled her eyes ( but she was definitely blushing)

The day of the quidditch match Ron sat down in front of harry in the great hall with Hermione by his side

" this uniform is hideous , couldn't you have had at least tried to get new uniforms " Ron said as he flaunted his arms .

" I think you look great " a girl in their year said . Ron smiled and mumbled a thanks .

" do you think I look good mione ?" Ron smirked at her as he flexed his arms . P

The war and the relentless quidditch practices have made Ron somewhat fitter , muscular and more toned , gone were the days when he was lanky and was clumsy , he had grown confident , strong , organized and definitely without a doubt became unequivocally hotter or so as Hermione thought , not that she'd ever say it out loud .

" you look exactly how you look everyday " Hermione replied sternly

" so good or good ?" Ron joked

" dumb , is what you look Ron " Hermione replied and went back to reading daily prophet

" well girls in the year find me good looking so that's on you mione " Ron winked at Hermione and went back to eating a little before the match , even when he was shit nervous .

During the match , Ron had brilliantly played without missing a single goal , so had harry and surprisingly enough Draco too . Ron was the star of the game and everyone had cheered him on In the quidditch Field and dormitories .

" oh shut up , he looks hot okay " Harry , Hermione and Ron had heard Someone Whisper.

" it doesn't matter , he's out of any one of our leagues , although I think he is hottest of the Weasley's " the same voice whispered. Ron chuckled .

" he looks hot in his uniform " other voice said and harry laughed .

" mione I think people are having crush on Ron "

" really ?" Ron raised his eyebrows as he took of his strappings in front of the mirror . Harry nodded smiling .

" mione , I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days someone tries to kidnap him " Harry jokes

" yeah and why would that be a problem . I'm sure it'd feed his ego " Hermione folded her arms .

" I can't help it , they say I've changed a bit "

" haven't I mione " Ron smirked as he closed the distance between them and winked at her .

It rendered Hermione speechless .

" it's gonna faint her , stop it Ron " Harry laughed . Hermione hit both of them with another book over their heads , blushing furiously.

As for coming days , Ron kept asking Hermione questions like " darn this , even this shirt seems to be too fitted , doesn't it Hermione ?" Or " is it just me or do you feel like these pants are making my thigh's a bit more constrained , right mione ?" Or " I think this shirt looks good on me , doesn't it Hermione " or " Harry do you think mione checked out my arse today " , Ron used to purposely say it out loud for Hermione to listen and as an answer to all , she used to roll her eyes but definitely checked him out any chance she got .

Meanwhile in Slytherin , everything was a chaos

" Draco , I'd date him , he gone fitter , you can't deny it " pansy Groaned as Draco ranted all about how girls and guys both had been crushing over Ron and how he looks better with his stupid red head and his stupid pants and shirt that protruded his body .

" Draco if it bothers you that much , just start working out , show him who's the actual better looking one here " Theodore suggested and Draco Actually noted it but as it turned out Draco working out relentlessly regularly , drinking those disgusted protein shakes didn't do anything to him . He literally used to huff out crying in frustration like a child after every workout .

Nevertheless he kept doing it , which only made him more tired during mornings .

" Harry you've got to stop ogling him " Hermione pointed as Harry was looking over at Draco , who was lazily eating his toast .

" fuck " he heard Draco hiss as he spilled some juice over his shirt . Draco stomped at his table glaring at Ron . Harry chuckled at his reaction .

" he's bloody perfect " Draco whispered to pansy as he glared at Ron .

" he is " pansy agreed lazily . Draco hit her lightly groaning .

" why are even smiling at malfoy " Ron asked Harry .

" what , no I'm not " Harry blushed.

" sure " Hermione sarcastically replied.

Still Harry couldn't stop staring at Draco from table away . Harry hated to admit , he was starting to watch over Draco . He liked watching Draco workout and then cry out on the ground with his legs spread out like a baby or when Draco had grown so lazy that he had become clumsy or when Draco used to just doze off between classes , Harry sort of found it cute but never said it out loud.

The leading evening he was making marks on quidditch Field when he saw Draco sprawled across the ground looking up . Harry went up to him and looked at him upside down . When Draco opened his eyes , he screamed .

" for fucks sake potter " Draco put a hand over his heart as he sat properly.

" not going to cry like a baby today " Harry chuckled .

" ha ha very Funny potter " Draco rolled his eyes as he tried to get up but his legs gave in. Harry immediately wrapped his arm around Draco and helped him up .

" Trying to work hard to win the next game " Harry chuckled

" what- I mean yeah it'd help but In all reality I'm dying right here potter , blind are you " Draco rolled his eyes . Harry helped him to the corner and helped him sit against the fence .

" well I see that everyday , crying like a baby "

" oh shut up would you " Draco rolled his eyes again.

" why are you even doing the whole improper workout ?" Harry asked as he bought water .

" I can ask why are you even here ?" Draco questioned back

" I'm stalking the Slytherin king " Harry sassed

" why wouldn't you " Draco smirked . Harry rolled his eyes

" tell me , why all of this ?" Harry asked

" i-its stupid " Draco sighed

" oh , is there anything more stupid than you , wow " Harry raised his eyebrows.

" ha ha " Draco sassed " i-i just I was just trying to put out the red head Weasley "

" put him out ?" Harry questioned and sat down next to Draco

" he's literally all over , like everywhere he's all I hear about , sickening " Draco scowled

Harry laughed , like loud and Draco should have been annoyed but he wasn't , infact he liked the laugh not that he'd admit.

" why did I even tell you this " Draco groaned at the sudden realisation, burying his face in his hands .

" Ron isn't trying to be famous or anything , he's literally just trying to get Hermione all the time . They're so fucking in love but they never admit and Ron just likes to tease her you know . I think it's all for her anyways " Harry explained . He looks at Draco to his side and bring his hand to Draco's and take them off his face .

" you know what , you are stupid and I can't believe you actually told me this even though I am your so called enemy " Harry smiled facing Draco .

" you're not my enemy, not anymore at least " Draco mumbled . Harry smiled at his innocence . Harry finally gets up .

" for what its worth , it's adorable to see you cry on the field like that and that you're trying to put him out "

" you're cute sometimes Draco specially when you're jealous " Harry smiles and leaves .

Draco blushed uncontrollably .

" you're stupid potter " Draco called out .

" three broomsticks , 7 pm tomorrow , I'll wait" Harry yelled back and ran out of the field .

Guess Draco malfoy just got asked out on a date with his " so called enemy " who by the way now he finds adorable and boy that arse didn't do justice not that Draco didn't already know

[ someone please make a fan art of Draco crying like a baby and Ron and Hermione, please 🥺 ]

#drarry #harry potter #draco x harry #drarry incorrect quotes #drarry prompt #hp fandom #ronmione #ron weasley #hermione granger #harry potter fanfiction #draco malfoy #harry potter is bi #harry potter prompt

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babylooneytoonz · 4 years ago

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Warnings: ANGST // REVELATIONS // TEARS // Sort of cried while reading Bucky parts // Bucky doesn't deserve this :((

Please find links to all the parts in my Masterlist here.💗

You were looking at Bucky so intensely, trying to listen to his words, let them sink in, that you didn't notice a man walking towards you. Neither did Bucky. You were so engrossed, for you had never heard this man talk of those times, infact, he had never said anything remotely closer to you than curses and grunts. This felt refreshing.

"Well, look who's here."

A voice snapped you back into reality, a frown creasing over your forehead.

"Wallis?"

For some reason, you were thankful when Bucky stepped towards you, the side of your arm now brushing against the fabric of his tshirt. He was quiet, but you knew he was watching.

"Since when do you date? From what I had heard, you hadn't landed yourself a man since we broke up."

"Life is more than just having a man, Wallis." You drawled on a smile, not failing to notice a flash of a frown grow over his forehead that he was quick to mask.

"Well aren't you going to introduce me to your man?"

That's when you turned towards Bucky, a faint blush paving its way to your cheeks. You didn't know why, but a current; a sudden surge of electricity flew through you when he called him your man.

"Who the hell are you?" Bucky finally spoke.

"My lousy ass of an ex husband who couldn't keep his cock in his pants," you retorted.

"You still let that affect you, don't you?" He smirked, causing you to stiffen slightly.

Bucky felt you tense up next to him but the warmth that you felt radiating from him was suddenly stripped away from you. But it was only when you saw Bucky wall up to him, towering over him with a glare equivalent to death in his eyes.

"You do know who I am right? I would walk away I were you. And leave her the hell alone, I'd fear my life that can be taken away with just whisk of my arm," you kept watching, as Bucky flexed the fingers on his metallic arm slightly, the arm glistening underneath the pale moonlight. You finally found your footing, and your numbness subsided, and ignoring the buzzing in the back of your head and the throbbing headache in your temple, you found yourself walking up to the men, only to place your arm on Bucky's arm, slowly drawing his arm down so you could take his hand, coiling your fingers against the cool metal.

You didn't know why it happened, and you didn't understand the logistics, but you suddenly felt safe, and you felt warm, although the icy metal was like ice against your skin. It even felt better when Bucky looked down, his eyes trailing over the way you were holding his hand, and he just tightened the grip, not wanting to let your hand drop.

"Let's go Bucky, he isn't worth it."

He nodded, and giving him one glare he turned around, still holding your hand, as the two of you walked away.

"You know, you always play the victim card, using how I cheated on you, but do you ever tell the others what you did? And what I lost? Because of you?"

The venom in his words was enough for you to stop walking, your heart beating wildly inside your chest. It had been a long time you had let yourself think of this, but now, the old wounds had been scratched, and the raw, seething pain was back.

"Why don't you tell the world what you did? And what you didn't do? You keep sitting on this high pedestal, and pretend that it's only you that has been treated like this, but news flash, you're just as guilty as I am."

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down your face, your chin trembling like that of a two year old. You had zoned yourself out completely now, Wallis' words playing in the back of your mind repeatedly, like bullets being emptied into your heart.

"Bucky," you managed to whisper, your voice low and broken, "take me home."

You were so lost in your thoughts; you paid no heed to the sick, cracking sound that echoed for a split second when Bucky's metal fist collided with Wallis' jaw, or the groan of pain that escaped his lips as he crashed against the cold concrete floor, holding his bleeding jaw. You could only hear the static in your head, when Bucky draped his arm protectively around your shoulder, and pulled you to him, his voice trying to call you back, but you were too gone, too deep into the water to swim back out, you were drowning in your own head.

"Let's get you back now, yeah? Doll, you're okay."

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You were obnoxiously quiet all the way back to the Stark Towers. Bucky still hadn't let go off your hand, and he hadn't tried to make small talk with you, something you really appreciated right now. You couldn't talk, you didn't have the energy to, and neither the will.

The minute the elevators flung open, the two of you came face to face with Sam, Wanda, and Steve, who was leaning against the wall, his eyes giving the two of you the looks; the tiniest of smirks playing against his lips. Bucky watched, as Sam's lips parted, and he was about to say something, but at the right time Bucky brought up his palm, and motioned towards him to let it be, and all the smirks on their faces just died, worry filling them up instead.

Bucky quietly turned towards your apartment, walking you down the hallway, still holding your hand as you quietly followed him, your eyes lowered to the floor, while the three behind you followed the two of you, confused, but concerned about your well-being.

"I'll be right out, punk." Bucky said in a low voice to his bestfriend, who understood, that perhaps you needed your space right now, so he nodded and stopped following you, watching Bucky and you disappear into your apartment.

You sat down against the edge of the bed, slowly lifting up your eyes until you had your eyes trained on the super soldier. Your heart ached at the sight; he was standing by your walk in closet, confused, looking for something that you could probably wear for the night, something more comfortable.

"Hey, where do you, uh, keep your –"

Finally, after what felt like ages, you gave him a weak smile, and he gave you one back. You stood up, slowly walking up to him and placing your palm gently on his flesh arm.

"I've got it Buck, thank you, for everything you've done. You can go talk to Steve while I get changed. Yeah?"

You didn't mean to do it, and you had tried so hard for him to not feel like you were kicking him out, sending him away, but it did look like a bit of hurt flashed in his eyes, before he quickly masked it, and nodded, giving you a smile just for the show.

"Well then, I'll be back in my apartment, you can just call me on my cell if you, well, we do have Friday." He said, in a low monotone.

The two of you stayed like that for a few seconds, your heart melting just by gazing into his blues, when he slowly took a step away, ready to leave. You didn't let go of his hand, causing him to stop walking and turn slightly, gazing at how you were still holding his hand like a little lost child.

"I don't want to be alone, I was wondering if, well–"

A soft smile broke out against the corner of his lips, and a faint nod on his face.

"I'll be back, I just need to let them know you're okay. They are worried about you."

"I know." You nodded, both of you walking in different directions; one out of your apartment door, and the other into the closet.

You pulled out a plain white knee length frock, unbuttoning your jeans and rolling it down, until you stepped out of it. You then took off the shirt, hanging it neatly on one of the racks, so you could be reminded of taking the clothes out for laundry. Sliding your neck through it, you pulled the frock over your body, rolling it over until it fell to your knees.

Your eyes were feeling heavy, but you didn't wish to go to sleep. Instead, you laid down, pulling the covers partially over you and started staring at the ceiling. A sudden, hollow feeling hit you and you couldn't stop thinking about the things Wallis had spoken.

You had made mistakes, but there was not a single night you didn't wish to undo the things you had done, and hope that the things had gone differently.

Your chain of thoughts were broken when you heard Bucky walk in. He looked strained, but his shoulders relaxed the minute he saw you laying in bed. You turned your neck towards him, giving him a slow smile as you watched him walk towards the other side of the bed, lowering himself against the edge.

He got into bed with you, the weight of the other side of the bed now heavy. This made you realize, this was the first time you had let a man into your bed, and also perhaps, into your heart, after whatever happened two years back. Reflexively, you rolled over, until you found yourself in Bucky's embrace, your face buried into his chest, fitting like a perfect piece of a puzzle under the crook of his neck.

He smelled perfect.

His flesh hand came to rest at the back of your head, stroking over your scalp in a soft and soothing movement of fingers.

Finally, he took a deep breath and mumbled, his voice low and soft.

"I've seen many horrors, doll. And I thought I could never get back to who I used to be."

You blinked, looking up at him.

"But I realized one thing, although it didn't make the pain go away, talking about things made it easier to bear."

You almost sniffled a sob upon hearing his words, but Bucky heard you and he looked down at you, gazing into your eyes, until he leaned in and planted a soft, chaste kiss to your nose.

"They did monstrous things to me Y/N. Things I cannot even tell you, but I still am here, am I not ? "

You sighed into his embrace, resting your forehead against his sturdy chest, wanting to cry, to let it all out, but that would make you weak. And you didn't want to let this man see how weak you truly felt, how small as compared to the rest of the world.

"I wish it were that easy, letting go. You really can't let go Buck when your actions are responsible for someone innocent losing their life."

He almost raised an eyebrow but he didn't ask you what you meant. You only bit your lip, licking over your dry lower lip as you started thinking back again of how you could have done things differently.

"Well were once happy Buck, me and Wallis. We were in love, we were newly married. And then one day, he came along."

"Who did, doll?"

His ask was so raw, so innocent, you couldn't stop talking. So you did, pouring your heart out to a man who you had known for mere weeks.

"Danny, our son."

You felt Bucky stiffen slightly, but he didn't let go off you, he still held you to his chest, mumbling a small, but audible hum, to let you know that he was listening.

"He was the most perfect thing that ever was. He had my eyes, and he didn't cry. What baby never cries Bucky?" You chuckled, through your tears, that were now freely flowing down your eyes.

The truth was, Bucky couldn't understand all this; these emotions were new to him. He never had his own family, and he didn't understand what it was like having a son. Maybe though, he did think that it wouldn't have been bad, to have his own family, something that he had thought of back in the 1940s, but now, he couldn't anymore for he was not the same man he used to be.

"Well he never cried. He was one hell of a happy kid I tell you. Anyway, he was growing up so fast, and life was good. My boy was two already, and before I knew he was always running around our house, breaking things, knocking my fucking vases off the cabinets," the two of you were grinning at each other just thinking of a toddler running around the house, breaking things.

Until you sombred up, and the smile washed off your face.

"It was three nights after his third birthday, and Danny was with me, at home. Wallis was out, as usual, so I decided we would go take a walk, I really needed to clear my head."

You didn't realize that your lips were quivering now. Your eyes were already swollen, half lidded and glossy, and you were trembling like a leaf, even in the warmth that Bucky provided you, coated you in.

"It was a moonless night, and Danny wanted to have his favourite ice cream when they came out of nowhere."

"Who?" Bucky's voice got heavy suddenly, his eyes darkening two shades, his eyebrows forming a thin line.

"HYDRA."

You felt Bucky loosen his grip on you, the minute you said that word. You didn't blame him. After all, they were responsible for the mess you all were in today.

"I don't know what they wanted, but I was alone, and they were five. I failed, I failed to protect him. I could only watch–"

Bucky's finger flew up to your lips, his index pressing against your plump ones, forbidding you from speaking any further. His soft eyes looked down at you, and you could see that his eyes were moist.

"It wasn't your fault, baby."

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath; if only you could believe him.

"It wouldn't have happened, if I hadn't taken him out that night, if I would have been able to protect him–"

"You didn't know what they planned, and they were five."

You didn't reply, instead, you scooted closer into Bucky's embrace and he tightened his grip around you, pulling the covers over the two of you, his lips pressed to your forehead. You could feel his heart, because your face was pressed to his chest. His heartbeat was soothing and you found yourself relaxing to his touch, his warmth and the way he held you and your eyelids started feeling heavy.

"My son died with a fucking bullet to his skull." You suddenly pushed yourself away from Bucky and propped yourself up in bed, wrapping your arms around your frail body, pinching your eyes shut, ignoring the warm, thick tears rolling down your cheeks.

Bucky remembered talking to Steve, and how you had gone off the radar for two years and SHEILD hadn't assigned you any mission. Now he knew, that you had probably locked yourself up after what you had witnessed, and it wasn't your fault. He wanted to console you, to comfort you and he wanted to take this pain away, but he didn't know how to.

He was scared now; scared that you would shut him off, only when you were starting to open up to him.

"Y/N, it wasn't your fault."

He didn't know that his words will anger you even more, instead of calming you down. You slid out of bed, much to Bucky's surprise, and turned to face him.

"It wasn't my fault? Don't you see what I've done? Or what I could've done?"

You were screaming at him.

"You couldn't have done anything! Why don't you understand?" He slid out of bed too, almost yelling back at you in the same voice that you had used on him.

"Why the fuck would you still let that jerk get into your mind like that? Fuck your mind? He wanted this to happen, and you're letting him win," he spat, his hands on his hips.

The two of you were on the either side of the bed, giving each other a stare down.

"Bucky, you won't understand," you finally whispered, looking down at your hands, " you never had anyone to lose."

You didn't mean that. You really didn't. But now you wished you could swallow back the words you had just said. Just the look of hurt on the man's face was enough to make you feel guilty. He didn't deserve this. He didn't.

"Bucky, that's not what I meant, come here please?"

"Well, fuck, you weren't wrong. I am not used to this, having people, having connections, feelings and emotions. You're absolutely fucking right."

"Babe, I didnt–"

"But you know what? I'm okay this way. I have no fucking one to care about, or be cared for from, and I am okay with it. Because it's fucking simpler that way. Atleast it saves me the mess of being what you are today. You can't even forgive yourself for something you haven't even done."

He slid his feet into his slippers and turned away, facing the door. His hands were clenched against his sides, so hard, his knuckles were turning white. He finally started walking towards the door, when you called out.

"Where are you going?"

Your voice broke.

"To my own damn apartment, so I can be alone, like I always was."

The door slammed shut, and he was gone.

(So, thoughts anyone? 🥺)

Permanent Bucky Barnes Taglist:

@really-dont-forget-it

@thepeakygurl

@all-art-is-quite-useless

@baumarvel

@janajjj

@chipilerendi

@nyotamalfoy

@skittychat

@allidoiswritewritewrite

Want to be added to my taglist? Please fill up a form on this link. 💗

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes x reader #bucky Barnes #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky barnes

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entomancy · 4 years ago

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(Fic) Daywalkin’ in Vegas

...let’s be honest, this ‘short backstory fics’ thing has done what my writing tends to do, and Escalted. So let’s escalate.

Title: Daywalkin’ in Vegas (Wattpad) Setting: Increasingly not even serial-numbers-off-VTM. VTM infact exists in-world as a gaming system, which really annoys Fancy Vampires. Warnings: Gore; depictions of violence/ death against a child. Words: 6537 Summary: A failed siring gets the attention of two very different parts of Vegas Below; and a young blooded nosferatu puts herself in the centre of a dangerous balance.

Beep.

Twenty-eight forty.

Beep.

Thirty-one seventy.

Beep.

Nox watched the till display tick up, comparing the total to her mental tally. She had enough; she knew she did. It might have been in tattered bills, tarnished coin rolls and bits of change so old they were chipped like gears around the edges, but she was always real careful to plan these trips down to the grubby dime. In and out, as unobtrusive as possible.

Beep.

A final bag passed, the green-yellow numbers flickering one final time. The cashier smiled in customer service plastic as she read out the total, then followed it with a look of awkward concern.

“That’s all for you? We - er – we have some good specials,” she said hesitantly, nodding towards the little stack of brightly-labelled packages beside the register. It was mostly sweets and tampons, and Nox bit back on a grin at the sight. Nice thought, but that hadn’t been her ‘bloody’ problem for a while now.

“That’s it,” she replied, adding: “Thanks, though.” Sure, it was an upsell, but a kind one. The girl even managed to keep back any disgust at the state of some of the cash; it had been cleaned up, but people didn’t tend to drop crisp ones into a cup on the sidewalk.

Nox carried everything out to the repurposed shopping cart that she’d left just inside the little bodega’s doors. The thing was unbalanced and took corners like a drunk, but it was better than playing pack mule herself. The new bags settled down on top of the day’s earlier buys: bulk discount batches of toilet roll, bleach and superglue, along with cheap fabric for bandages. Plus, now, thirty-eight dollars and eighty-six cents’ worth of the cheapest mince and frozen shrimp available within a four-mile radius.

There had been a time when she’d had to worry about dietary fibre. Or vitamins.

The cart’s wheels creaked and rasped on sidewalk dirt as she headed it away, hunching down over the handle as she pushed; partly for more control, mostly to keep her face in shade. Her battered baseball cap and hoodie did a pretty good job – accompanied by garish plastic sunglasses and a stained bike mask – but every little helped. It also added to the overall ‘bag lady out on an afternoon shuffle’ aesthetic she was going for. The trick was to inspire just enough awkward pity to be invisible, but not enough to be a target.

Apparently, her act was off today. She’d just turned a laborious corner, distracted by trying to keep the bags all stacked, when she felt a hand clamp down onto the top of her head and yank hard. She didn’t move, but the hood pulled away and she heard a yelp of disgust even before she swivelled around. Two young men stood behind her, gawking in revulsion at the revealed state of Nox’s scalp, in all its piebald, peeling, erratically-thickened glory. A thin braid slithered down her face, torn too-easily free along with the hood.

She gave the scene one more heartbeat to really settle in, before grinning widely. Faced with a mouthful of teeth like broken ivory, the youths managed to look even more horrified.

“Aye, that’s how I caught it too!” Nox cackled theatrically, before snatching the hat back from now-unresisting fingers and jamming it back into place. “Don’t go scratching yerself anywhere pretty fer a bit, eh?”

The lad – and his already-retreating backup – hesitated, then let out a string of bravado-born obscenities. Freak – gross – blah blah blah I-have-a-tiny-dick blah. He kicked at the cart as he started follow his friend, and Nox let just enough spill out to sate the petty spite.

Once they had gone, she picked up the packets again and began to fix her hood. The exposed skin was stinging and smarting already, a poison-ivy prickle that calamine wouldn’t touch. At least it was late enough in the afternoon that she probably wouldn’t blister from the exposure. More annoying was the missing chunk of hair, and she probed at it gingerly. No deep wound, thankfully; which probably meant that the straggly braid had been almost ready to fall out anyway. She tended to keep about half a head of hair going, on average; so it’d grow back.

The lads were long gone by the time she was ready to set off again. With any luck she’d be nothing more than an awkward moment in a day of shoving their weight around; quickly forgotten. Being gross in the eyes of idiots wasn’t a Breech, after all.

The rest of the trip back was uneventful. Streets gave way to alleys, sidewalks to cracked paving, to rotting asphalt, and even the graffiti began to wane as she got closer to home. The main occupants of this ass-end of nowhere – a ghetto’s dumpster of a place – didn’t exactly make it their business to advertise where they were. Those that needed to know; knew. Those that knew, generally didn’t care – which was honestly a hell of a lot better than the alternative. Nox had heard the stories of what it had been like only twenty years ago. It was strange to feel that there was any sort of luck to her history, but six years wasn’t twenty.

Reaching a gap in an otherwise unremarkable wall, she glanced around quickly, making sure that no one was watching. Then she straightened up, gripped either side of the overloaded cart, and hefted it up through the broken brickwork in one smooth movement. She vaulted in after it, dropping down into cool shade, and let out a sigh of relief as the accepting touch of Karloff’s Invitation washed across her. The sense was like a door opening in welcome; like taking the first familiar turn towards home after a long day’s drive. It also meant no more unwanted attention – without that explicit permission, you’d never be able to recognise the entrance, or even keep your attention on what you were looking for. She was as invisible now to all other turned-aside eyes as everything else within the Invitation’s borders.

A few more rattling corners later, Nox finally turned into the Homestead grounds. The whole area had once been a crammed-in mess of squat apartment blocks, copy-paste civic solutions built without charm to fill the need for cheap rooms. The Homestead was the only one of its kin still standing, now surrounded by an opened-out area of recent amateur demolition and scrap-built fencing. Bright splashes of street art cut across sagging concrete and the blacked-out eyes of the windows, although the tags and themes chosen indicated the difference between these creators and the more standard ones of the world outside. Most of this had been painted at night, for example, with rather more variety on the theme of ‘hands’ grasping the tins.

There was a lot more inside, and below, but she felt a particular warmth at these murals. Out here, on the surface. Bright in sunshine that most of them could never see. The Nosferatu might be Vegas Below’s crusty little secret, but they were damn well there.

Bits of cracked paving clicked and skittered beneath the cart’s wheels as Nox made her way through the fences and to the big, bolted main doors. There was a rough porch built around the frame, mostly to give extra shadows, and she looked up at the tiny glints of watchful glass sunk into the surrounding wall. She waved.

“Dimestore-Blade’s grocery delivery,” she announced, and listened to the familiar rattle of bolts start on the other side of the door. A few moments later it swung open and a hunched figure peered out, wincing back from even the thick porch shade. This was Max; an older woman than Nox in both kinds of age, who managed her marks via a combination of extensive bandaging and even more extensive needlepoint. Watery black eyes looked past her, squinting through a gap in the heavily-embroidered scarf wrapped around her head.

“All okay?”

Nox nodded and lifted the trolley over the threshold.

“Fine.” She didn’t mention the youths. Didn’t seem a lot of point. “Let’s get this lot into the freezer before it can walk on its own, yeah?”

Safely inside the slightly-fetid gloom of the entrance, Nox took the opportunity shed her bag-lady layers. True, she couldn’t actually overheat, even on a Nevada afternoon, but being swathed in that many layers was still claustrophobic. Beneath the mismatched fabric strata was an increasingly-threadbare pair of yoga pants and a dark vest, and Nox gave a small sigh of relief as she folded up the rest of her daylight-drag, shoving it onto a shelf nearby.

“Right,” she muttered, as much to fill the air as anything else, and turned back to the trolley. Max had already transferred much of it into precarious piles in her own arms. Her scarf had slipped down, revealing a hairless head webbed with splitting skin; much of it made whole again with patterned patches of colourful thread. The fabric discoloured over time, of course, but it reduced the leaking.

Balancing their burdens, the pair made their way further into the Homestead. Closest to the entrance was the most decrepit part, occupied mostly by shelves and old furniture crammed full of clothes and patched umbrellas for venturing out, and with years of dumped debris building up in corners. Rooms with windows – even those as thoroughly blacked out or bricked up as these were – mostly housed the rat runs or storage, because no one wanted to spend a lot of time somewhere where crap mortar could result in dayburns. Similarly, the roof and most of the top floor was given over to pigeon roosts and No avoided them whenever possible. She’d never much liked pigeons before this, and she still held that even their vitae tasted of garbage, somehow. Still, they were much dumber than rats, and they did lay eggs, so that helped.

The really lived-in part of the Homestead was underground. Everybody knew Nosferatu lived in the sewers, right? Okay, so Nox would admit she hadn’t much understood the difference between ‘sewer’ and ‘storm drain’ before her life had taken its scabby turn, but she sure did now. Vegas had extensive storm drains – large concrete tunnels that lay under much of the city, designed to quickly shift heavy rain away from the tarmacked surface above – and they were ideal: underground, dark, not monitored.

And not actually full of shit.

The arrangement used to be… messier, Karloff had told her. When they hadn’t been so organised; when they’d lived closer together with others who had slipped through the cracks Above. Some of the Family had started off as those same ‘unfortunates’ after all; those who were aftermath-sired in a broken frenzy, or from the bloody jaunt of some fuckfang cutting through the ranks of those who wouldn’t be missed. Splitting their claimed tunnels off from the main circuit and establishing the Homestead proper had happened later, after the Vegas Accord had given the Nosferatu a Clan-status, and hunting them for sport stopped being an acceptable weekend activity.

Six years sure ain’t twenty.

Max chatted away as they walked; an idle litany of gossip, social media tidbits and reports from watchers all over the city, woven together into what Nox tended to think of as ‘Radio Max’. Spying on people was apparently another nos stereotype; but honestly when you didn’t really sleep, were functionally invisible to large portions of society, and had worked out how to divert half-decent broadband from badly-secured leisure networks overhead, it wasn’t difficult to get ahead on current events.

Plus the rats, of course.

Information was power, and they had precious little of any other. Although Nox sometimes wondered how much of those scant threads of power that Karloff put such value on would diminish if Clanpires in general figured out how to just Google things.

They had reached what she thought of as ‘mainstreet’ of the Homestead tunnels – a long space with concrete pillars linking floor to ceiling every thirty feet or so, quite cheerfully lit by a mishmash web of light fittings rigged up overhead – when yelling broke out further down. Nox and Max shared a look of alarm at the commotion, but it was when her name became suddenly clear in the shouts that Nox’s stomach dropped.

“Get this stuff away, will you?” she muttered, carefully setting her packages down beside Max, and turned to meet the oncoming figures. Even wrapped in a heavy coat and thick gloves, she knew the loping form of Skaad instantly.

With features which sagged so violently that his bruise-yellow skin frequently tore at the edges, and a mouth like a lipless sharps bucket, Skaad was nonetheless gifted with some of the keenest senses in the clan, plus a damn-near eidetic memory. Which meant he spent most of his time skulking in hidden places, listening to things he shouldn’t, and following people who thought they were alone in their secret business. Having him sprinting towards you, so fast his eyelids were visibly flapping, wasn’t a great sign.

Back in the world Above – before her life had gone to hell in a weirdly specific way – Nox had been a paramedic. It was useful in the day-to-day, being the closest thing this bunch of ragged immortals had to a resident doctor, but there was only really one sort of actual emergency left down here.

Skaad skidded to a halt, and grabbed her arm with a worrying urgency.

“Got a phresh one. Get yer kit!”

Fuck. A fresh one meant one thing: someone had found a dumped fledgeling, one who’d been showing signs of the Change going wrong and been tossed aside by their disgusted sire. Intervening quickly could help, particularly getting a pigeon smoothie down them fast, but the panic on Skaad’s drooping face didn’t line up with -

“What’s so – ?” she started, but he shook his head, steering her towards the plastic-covered tunnel they used as a makeshift clinic. He leaned in to shove her again, but lowered his voice and muttered just before he did – and the words sent ice down her spine.

“It’sh a kid.”

Oh no.

Oh fuck.

You didn’t turn kids.

When your working knowledge of vampires had been a general pop-culture miasma and some blurry memories of teenage Buffy marathons, finding yourself on the other side of the supernatural coin came as a shock in various ways. One of which was the weird sensation that you should have studied it all harder, somehow. Nox had certainly felt stupid, in her early days, as a man with a face like a charred wasps’ nest listened to her stutter her way through half-remembered fiction and worse-remembered reality. But she’d apparently got a few things right, and somewhere in that muddle had been the idea that you shouldn’t turn kids.

There were all kinds of theories as to why – from the debauched to the practical – but she found that in many ways it didn’t matter. Whatever fucked-up intention you had, it wouldn’t work. Too young just… didn’t take. And when a siring didn’t work, there was every chance the result would end up on her table.

She scrabbled through the assortment of old drawers and boxes that stored her gear, pulling out anything she thought might work. Bandages, thread, craft superglue, repurposed bottles of hard spirits that would do in a pinch for sterilising. The best-case scenario things. And the rest. Old herb pots of fine powders; thrift-store silver cutlery hammered and polished and changed into a very different set of tools. Sharpie-labelled bottles of liquids that moved weirdly in the light, and a range of refillable lighters that definitely didn’t contain hydrocarbons anymore. All the things she’d picked up in the last six years that fitted in with other sort of medicine.

The plastic curtain behind her was yanked back and a sound she had been trying not to hear finally demanded her attention. It wasn’t even a scream, and Nox hated, hated hated hated that she recognised the cadence there perfectly: raw, animal agony of sound torn from a throat that was violently reforming around it. She turned to see Skaad forcing flailing limbs down, looping thick restraints around rippling flesh, and finally allowed her full attention to turn down to the spasming form.

Gore looked different through vampire eyes. It was hard to describe exactly how – partly because wordsmithery had never been one of her strong points, but more because trying to compare feelings from now and then was always going to have a huge fucking hurdle of shifted species in the way. She’d still probably seen more human blood in nine years on the ambulances than during the half-dozen in and out of Vegas’ shadows, and but everything afterwards had been… different. Displaced. Detached. Just didn’t seem as visceral as it used to do.

But this did.

Acid tightened in Nox’s throat as she stared down at the shuddering mess in front of her. Blanched skin bubbled and writhed, tearing as it pulled away from the muscles beneath; themselves little more than contorting ropes of livid tissue that pulsed under dying heartbeats and spilled black fluid from ever-widening rents. The throat was gone, now a bubbling pit of desperate breaths, sucked past exposed tendons that wriggled like furious worms. Half-clotted ichor was pooling from gashes along the arms, down the stomach and further: the marks of peri-sire wounds, those that had been still fresh as the invading blood forced itself into collapsing veins. The eyes were side-to-side a sickly crimson-yellow, bloating out from a face that was collapsing in on itself, and throughout it all, the kid screamed.

It was revolting. Nox had to bite down on the vicious spikes of fight-flight that were going off in her mind, so violently she could feel her hands trembling from the horror and her disgust at her own reaction. It was an instinct, an unbidden response to a failing siring – she knew that – but understanding it didn’t make it easier. Everyone down here had ‘gone nozz’ during their own Turn. Hell, a few of those brought to her were walking around now, not seeming any weirder than any of them, but she’d still felt that awful surge of fundamental wrongness about them before they stabilised.

Nox gritted – all of – her teeth, and slammed her kit down on the table.

Instincts can fucking blow me.

“Let’s see what we can do.”

It turned out what they could do, wasn’t much. Cleaning, sewing, cutting, sealing – nothing held. Stitches fell from uncertain skin, or tore great new holes as fresh spasms pulled at the edges. Wet rags soon littered the floor, sodden with black and yellow fluids that turned the rough concrete into a slippery, stinking mess. The bleeding wasn’t slowing, even as the body seemed to be crumpling in on itself, gradually liquefying around the bones.

The sound had gone quieter, if not softer, and Nox didn’t have much hope it would stop soon. It might be days yet, before the final sparks of vitae or life or cruel continuation finally went out.

Too young. The kid – the girl, most likely, going by anatomy – had been just… too young.

They had to have known that.

“I’m outa tricks,” she said, although the words felt thick and sharp in her mouth. She wanted to keep going. She wanted to, so fucking much. But somebody had done this. Somebody who knew this would happen.

“I’m gonna make her comfy,” she continued, then hesitated even as she pulled out the frankly-horrific cocktail of morphine and street drugs that might make a dent in a system caught somewhere between undead and alive. Skaad looked at her, and held out a clawed hand.

“Want me…?”

“Nah.” Nox shook her head, and swallowed. “You can get the others outta upstairs, though. I need to – to make a call.”

Skaad stiffened, his jaundiced eyes flicking between her and the table for a moment, before he let out a low hiss and ducked away through the curtain. Nox administered the mix and tried to convince herself it would have any sort of palliative effect. Then she went back to the drawers and rummaged again, right at the back, until her fingers closed on the ridged plastic of an old nokia.

There weren’t many numbers in the phone, but it was the first one she selected, under B.

- SUMFCK SIRED KID. ITS BAD -

She threw the phone back into the drawer and hurried out, past the plastic sheet and into the tunnels, leaving sticky footprints in her wake. Not a great look, but everyone would already know what was happening. Nosferatu gossiped like – well, like a society of insomniac, semi-immortal shut-ins.

Overhead, an erratic cluster of repurposed pipes trailed down through the domed roof, emanating from the rat runs above. Drainpipes, corrugated plastic, bits of plumbing, and all of them shaking slightly with the constant pass of tiny feet within. They opened out onto tiny highways of shelving that lined the walls, all heading in the same direction as she was. Pairs of black-beady eyes glanced at her as they passed, and with so many concentrated here, she could feel the faintest flick of Attention in each one. They were all headed to a squat metal door at the end of an offshoot passageway. The rats passed freely back and forth narrow holes punched in either side of the door; but Nox knocked. She knew she was already expected and entered after a respectful moment.

Karloff’s chamber was bigger than it looked like it would be from the doorway. Nox wasn’t sure what the space had originally been – some kind of maintenance room? – but it was now dark, and warm, and smelled less of rats than might be expected given the constant rodent tide. Shelves lined the walls, full of books and occasional pieces of recycled pet furniture. One floor-ceiling tower was filled entirely with old radios, police scanners, walkie talkies and the like.

The old man himself lay where he usually did, propped up in a nest of pillows and blankets in a box-like bed in the centre of the room. He presented an impossibly gaunt figure: papery-brown skin layered like peeling paint across sharp bones, with eyes so thickly clouded they sat like grey-milk marbles in unclosing sockets. His face looked scorched, blackened at the edges of the old dry wounds that had taken his nose, torn away most of his lips, and presumably shattered the broken fangs that jutted from his mouth. There was – as usual – a huge white rat lazing across his chest, nearly the size of a terrier and wearing a dark silken ribbon, and its sharp crimson eyes fixed on Nox as she entered.

She bowed her head, and tried not to leave bloody footprints on the rug.

“I need a temporary Invitation,” she said. It was blunt, but there was no point in dancing around it. He’d already know anyway. As she spoke, the huge rat sat up. It’s pale paws were clasped in front of it, folded in a strangely human-like gesture, but Karloff himself turned his head only slightly.

“’Belton,” he said softly, in the throat-based hush of his voice, and Nox nodded. Her fingers twitched into fists, and she felt the sticky remnants of gore slide between them.

“I… I’m running out of options, and she – ” the words were sticker than her fingers, getting caught on her lips “ – she’s real bad.”

The rat cocked its head and Karloff drew a slow breath.

“You will not do it?” he asked. Nox’ throat tightened.

“If I gotta. But I want him to see her, cos I – I could do this, but I ain’t got a snowball’s chance of doing anything about it.”

Karloff’s head turned further, and the clouded eyes passed over her with an intensity that Nox could feel, as if they skipped sight entirely and went right into her heart instead. There was another stretched moment of silence, then the pressure dropped and the rat turned away, curling itself neatly under its master’s chin.

“It is done,” Karloff said. The long fingers on one hand twitched slightly, and the faintest hint of a frown dug into his face. “...take care with the old death. You have seen little of him.”

“Yeah, I know. Thank you,” Nox added before she headed out again; first to check that the cocktail of drugs had at least calmed the kid’s screams, then back into the upper house. A few rats followed her as she slid into the squeaking, busy dimness of the runs to use the sink that still stood in one corner, using brownish water to at least scrub some of the stains from her hands. Then she set to wait, pacing with nervous energy.

No one joined her. By now, everybody would know what was happening, and no one wanted to be around when he came calling.

The problem – okay, so one of the problems, in a dreadful, tangled ball of ever-more layered problems – was that it was very, very difficult to kill a fledgeling in any way that could be considered humane. A body already in the process of tearing itself apart was resistant to most damage for the same reasons that you couldn’t punch a fog. Getting any kind of drug to land in an even-partly vampiric system was difficult enough at the best of times, and this…

Well, there was sunlight, but everything about Nox’s very being baulked at the idea of using that method. She knew with personal, hellish intimacy that the agony from that would get through even a Change. Torturing someone to death with one of the few things worse than what they were going through was really not the point.

Plus, there was a tiny, tiny part of her mind that hoped she was wrong. She’d only been dealing with this stuff for a handful of years, and while rumours varied widely about how old Belton actually was, he’d seen a lot of shit. Maybe she’d missed something. Just maybe…

It seemed to take an eternity before the roar of an engine outside broke through Nox’ whirling thoughts. She hurried to the door, took a careful breath, and peered out through the little viewing slot. Not that anyone else would have been able to ride a motorcycle up to the Homestead without the permission of Karloff’s Invitation, but it never hurt to keep caution.

A huge bike was settled just beside the front steps. It was black, but in the way a magpie’s wings were black, with oil-slick iridescence hinting around the edges. The rider – dressed to match, in that seamless continuity of clothing that Nox had started to think of as ‘vampire sunscreen’ – had already dismounted and was stood beside his bike, the raven-sheen of his helmet turned towards the door. There was no visible gaze to meet, but the weight of his attention was like ice down her spine, and she opened the door as deliberately as she could.

“She’s downstairs,” she said, as the figure came up the steps. The sun was already going down, barely spilling dying light over the surrounding wall of buildings, and the porch shadow was very deep there. It only got deeper as the big man stepped into it – and then paused, right on the edge of the frame.

“May I enter?” His voice was never as heavy as she expected, with a melodic edge that absolutely did not match what she knew lay under that helmet. Nox rolled her eyes.

“I texted you, and you’re here, right?”

He was always so… old fashioned about this. It wasn’t like it was a general requirement. Nox stepped back, gesturing inwards.

“Come in already,” she added. The man might have been big – although ‘fucking enormous’ would be a better description, needing to visibly turn and duck to get through the doorframe – but he moved deceptively fast, and was well inside the hallway, starting to remove his helmet before she had had time to shut the door. She turned to look, not even pretending not to stare as he unclipped all the security bits and lifted it smoothly free. The dramatic effect was only slightly spoiled by the oddly-bulging balaclava he had on underneath – but Nox supposed that if her ears could meet at the back, she’d want to keep them restrained inside a helmet too.

Belton looked… well, he looked like Belton. There just plain wasn’t anyone else like that. The best description she had ever been able to come up with was that he looked like someone had tried very hard to make a bat in the character creation screen of a pro-wrestling computer game. It was as if the underlying architecture that should have made a human skull had been stretched and tweaked and twisted into something approaching Chiroptera from the other side.

It probably said something worrying about her own psyche that – somewhere in the mess of emotions that Belton inspired – a part of her really, really wanted to see an xray of his head.

No time for this.

“C’mon,” she nodded him to follow her back down the Homestead’s passageways. The rats watched them from every surface; their skittering highways unusually still as the majority of glinting little eyes were fixed on the visitor. They were the only visible watchers, and Nox tried not to notice how empty every space they passed through was. It added another level of eeriness, with the just-abandoned debris of life seeming like some extremely localised Rapture. Even Nox’ rapid explanation of the situation fell muted around them; for his part, Belton just listened and nodded every now and then. He didn’t look around.

How familiar was he, with this place? He’d come a few times since she’d been here – and of course, that first time meant he’d sure known where it was. Nox’ gaze slid sideways. Belton had removed his gloves by now, and the hands revealed couldn’t even remotely be thought of as human; the fingers were too long, bone and tendons standing stark beneath mottled grey skin; capped by black claws that curled from the nailbeds, polished to an obsidian gleam.

How many times had those hands run across the outer walls of the Homestead; at Karloff’s limits; searching for a way in? How many times had those claws torn into sagging flesh, or crushed furry watchers into broken blindness?

How many times had he come before he had brought her here; a crispy mess of fledgeling coated in sand and gravel and gore, spat out by the desert and into hands that immortals feared…?

The plastic curtain seemed to rise up like an exclamation, a cold shot of right now breaking her thoughts, and Nox came to a sharp halt. There was still sound from inside: a bubbling, slurred collage of moans that had made it past the drugs, and her hand froze halfway to the curtain. The swell of renewed, visceral revulsion felt like she’d choke on her own fucking hypocrisy, and she couldn’t suppress a slight hiss.

“It’s – ” she started, through gritted teeth, but cut out as Belton gently touched her shoulder.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Nox’ fingers twitched, then she turned away, moving until she could lean heavily against the nearest concrete pillar and rested her forehead against the pitted surface. The groan might as well have been coming out of the air. It pressed down around her and her skin crawled.

She hated this, and she hated that she hated it like this. Some depraved motherfucker had dragged a fucking child into very literal hell and she’d tried, she’d tried with every stupid, macguivered bullshit tool she’d put together out of garbage; she’d tried everything and it was never going to have meant a damn thing and all she could focus on, really really focus on right now was how fundamentally disgusting that fucking sound was –

And then it stopped.

Nox physically sagged against the pillar, relief and nausea chasing each other through a stomach that was dropping into her boots. There was only one reason for the sudden silence, and she let her eyes slide closed, muttering the same half-wordless prayer she’d always used when a case went bad, or a patient flatlined in the ambulance. Whatever that meant now, she’d never been sure, but it still sort of fit.

She’d known. She’d known when she picked up that damn phone.

But fuck me if hope isn’t a bitch.

It wasn’t long before there was the faint brush of plastic again and Nox opened her eyes to see Belton smoothing the curtain back behind him, covering the sudden stillness. There was a long moment of silence before he turned to her. His eyes were the most human-looking part of his face, and the grey gaze sought hers.

“I’ll be on my way, then.”

Nox nodded numbly. They went out the way they came; still alone, still watched at every step by a hundred rodent stares. Back up, back to the door and out into the thickening dusk of the evening – and it wasn’t until the porch steps were creaking under his boots that Nox’s nerve rose again.

“Hey – Belton?” she managed, and the big figure paused. He looked back at her and one curled brow raised, moving an ear with it. Nox pulled the Homestead door shut behind her as she sought the right words. “This… ain’t your job, right?”

“I don’t have a real tight specification,” he replied, then shrugged. “But broadly? No. To be honest with you, my boss couldn’t give a rat’s twat what happens with the Nosferatu.”

“So why’d you come?” Those words came fast, but Nox didn’t try to stop them. Belton paused again, then hung his helmet and balaclava over the big bike’s handlebars. He sat down on the steps, hunching a little in that strange shape his back took when he wasn’t standing, and Nox slid down beside him at the unspoken invitation.

Belton shook his head, what might have been a wry smile tugging at the edges of his too-wide lips. Glints of needle teeth flashed in the dusk.

“It’s a question of perspective, see,” he said quietly. “For someone like you? This’ll ruin your whole year. Getting all Lady Macbeth with the inevitable. But for me?” He held up a hand and slowly flexed the clawed fingers. Once; twice; and Nox couldn’t draw her gaze away from the mottled skin as it shifted over his bones. Belton sighed. It was an old sound, so old that any hint of what it might contain had worn away like stone under rain.

“What’s one drop in an ocean? Don’t get me wrong – ” he added, with the edge of smile falling away again “ – I’ll feel bad about it; but I’m not losing myself any sleep.”

She should have been angry. She wanted to be angry, at the casual way this bat-faced bastard just said it; as the so-recent feel of the kid’s crumbling flesh slammed against her thoughts and ghosted under her fingers, and bile she wasn’t even sure she had anymore swirled at the back of her throat. She should be angry.

“...thank you.”

“No need for that,” he replied – but Nox shook her head.

“Nah; there is. Things need saying.” She fidgeted with the hem of her pants for a silent moment, before continuing. “Don’t believe you actually sleep, though.”

This time there was no mistaking that Belton grinned; and the resulting expression was exactly as unpleasant as it sounded.

“No? Not even if I say I’ve got little bats on my pyjamas?”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Now that there’s uncalled for.”

Nox grinned, and even as she did she could almost hear Karloff’s voice in her head. Be wary of the old death.

And yet…

There was another long silence, although this one felt less tense.

…fuck it. When am I gonna get this chance again?

“They found her in the desert,” she said carefully, scuffing dust across the steps with one toe as she spoke; an idle motion to distract herself from the nerves inside. Belton nodded.

“Aye. Letting lady sun do the dirty work. It’s an almost foolproof method, really.”

Nox looked down at her own hands; where the patchwork of thickened tissue traced patterns like dry riverbeds over her pallid brown skin. The sun burned bits went blistered red, then dark and crackly, then sickly pale when that peeled; slowly edging back to her default. It sure as hell wasn’t pleasant; but it wasn’t the chemical-melting collapse of flesh that she’d seen on others.

“So, that make me a fool or an outlier?”

“I said almost.” Belton leaned back a little, looking up into the dark expanse of sky. “Always going to take a risk when you don’t stay to watch. Although I’ll admit it takes some big balls to stick around for that sort of disposal. What with the deeply ingrained phytophobia of your classic vampire, and everything.”

Nox raised her most intact eyebrow.

“This is more about your junk than I want to know.”

Belton laughed. Really laughed; the kind of melodic tone that bordered on a snatch of song and that was so very out of place coming from within that face.

“Oh, I’m not claiming that kind of testicular fortitude. Sunlight scares the piss out of me as much as it ever did. Don’t think it’s the kind of thing you can get over. Built-in, you know?”

“You ride about in the day,” Nox pointed out, and Belton waved a hand back towards his helmet.

“I’ve got some really bespoke protective gear, see. Amazing what’s been done with polymers in the last thirty years.”

Nox blinked.

“…you’ve got bike pleathers?”

“Technically I’ve got an integrated neo-polymer baselayer,” Belton stopped and his nose crinkled – which was quite an extensive expression. “…ah fuck, that sounds like I’ve got plastic pants, doesn’t it? Keep that one to yourself, will you?”

“Sure.” Nox’s shoulders sagged again as reality dropped back suddenly. She decided to just go for blunt. “With… the kid. Someone did that, and before that they – ” her words choked again, at the thought of where some of those peri-sire wounds had been.

“I know.” The amusement had gone from Belton’s voice as he stood up, heading back to his bike rather abruptly. The engine roared into life as he swung himself astride it, folding his ears into their cover, and Nox had to shout to be heard above the rumble.

“Do they… just get away with this?”

“There’s plenty that think they should,” he replied calmly; oddly easy to hear over the din, as he slid the helmet into place. “It was like that for a long time.”

Nox’s lips drew back, almost of their own accord, working to some defiant instinct she only had partial control over.

“And you?”

“Me? I’m a monster on a chain that I put there.” Belton looked up, and just before the visor snapped closed, there was a flicker of crimson in his eyes.

“But I’ll see what I can do.”

#Entofic #Vampire Nonsense #urban fantasy #The Vegas Masqerade #Nosferatu grocery shopping #terrible daywalkers #this WWE-manbat-looking mofo #I'm not warning for 'blood' on a vampire setting #help the plot keeps happening

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ace-angel-judas · 6 years ago

Text

Fiance (AU)

Pairing: Mino/Star

2 / ??

Synopsis: Mino gets everything he’s wanted, it was just the best thing about being king of his empire. Star was the princess of a smaller country yet she was one of the most beautiful woman in the land, many men had asked to wed her only to be turned away. Mino gains Star’s hand in marriage but there’s one issue: She’s not interested.

One day. Star had been in this foreign land, her soon to be land, and she already wanted to leave. They had their first dinner together as fiances the previous night and Star hadn’t eaten a single thing. She couldn’t, maybe if she starved herself then she’d die from weakness and be away from Mino. Of course, that was until Clara snuck her some bread in the middle of the night that she scarfed down the food hungrily.

“It’s not what you usually eat but I won’t let you starve,” Clara commented.

“Please, I’d rather eat this then sit at a table with him,” Star stated back as she ate the somewhat chewy bread, “How could he have his concubines serve us? I’d rather choke,”

Clara chuckled slightly, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall of Star’s room. They were as close as sisters despite the social status difference, Clara was from no noble family, she had been a thief actually. Star had caught Clara sneaking into the palace and stealing when she was captured, they were only children at that time. Clara would live if she accepted to serve Star, giving her both a friend and protector.

“I don’t trust the concubines,” Clara pointed out.

“You don’t trust anyone,” The princess smiled.

A knowing smirk made its way onto Clara’s face, “I trust you, of course but I think they may be planning something,”

The comment made Star snort in disgust, “They can have him, I don’t want him, I want to go home, this place is bland, I miss the fields, gardens, books and even my sister,”

“I’m sorry, all you have is me,” Clara smiled.

Star smiled back at her, “At least I have someone, please pass me my book,”

Clara nodded, grabbing the book from the far duchess and handing it to Star. She smiled to herself, at least she had reading as an escape from this nightmare. Star curled up, opening the book as Clara walked out of the room and shut the doors.

By the time morning rolled around, Star was being woken up by a hand maiden, she wasn’t sure what time she had fallen asleep but the sun had been coming up. At least, she was treated to a warm bath by herself although the new hand maidens felt odd.

As a black robe was presented to her, Star was taken back.

“Ah, Where are my robes?” Star asked.

“The king requested you be dressed in these,” One of the maidens bowed.

“And this,”

Star looked at the necklace presented to her in black lush silk, her eyes going wide at the intricate dragon design of the necklace. Right, the symbol of the Song empire was the dragon. Her robes were no longer embroidered with flowers and leaves, now they were dark black with red and gold dragons. Her hair was also pined upwards, a dragon pin being slipped into the bun atop her head.

Even Clara had to do a double take as Star stepped out of the room followed by the hand maidens. Star had always worn white yet now she was adored in these new colors. She took a deep breath.

“Clara, may I please have my fan?” Star asked softly.

The guard nodded, handing Star the same white wooden fan as she had the previous day. Star flicked out the object, covering her face slightly, the white paper fabric a nice break from the black that covered her body.

“Now, lets go greet his majesty,” Star forced a smile as they walked down the corridor.

Once again, it took all of Star’s will power to not throw up as they entered the throne room, her frown hidden behind her fan. Mino smile as she entered, looking her body up and down, he loved the look of his colors on her figure. Mino himself was wearing a matching hanbok, although the embroidered dragons danced across his shoulders and and the sleeves while Star’s were on the skirt.

His hanbok was untied, revealing his toned chest and abdomen, something Star averted her eyes from. She instead looked around the room, refusing to look at Mino once again.

“Please, come sit,” Mino gestured to the spot beside himself.

Star glanced at the spot beside him, pursing her lips behind the fan and approaching the spot.

God, Why did she have to sit so close to him?

As she sat, Star glanced at the concubines again, they’re were only four this time. They were sitting to the side, dressed in the red silk, their hands folded in their laps. Star kept the fan up, angling it the side slightly so Mino couldn’t look at her face. She looked at Clara, who stood to her own side, looking at the guard before down at the food in front of herself.

“You haven’t eaten since you arrived,” Mino purred to her as he leaned towards her.

“I don’t eat in the mornings,” Star lied, “I like to keep my figure,”

Mino chuckled, “Yet you didn’t eat last night either,”

“It was a long ride yesterday, I just wished to rest,” Star nodded, lying again.

This made the king click his tongue, gesturing to one of his concubines who slipped over, filling up his drink. Star could feel the burning glare from the woman, making her close her eyes and roll them. He could just use a normal servant, yet instead Mino used those woman he probably had plenty of fun with last night.

“Your country has interesting hand maidens,” Mino commented, trying to make conversation, “She’s not dressed like a lady,”

Star’s brow furrowed together, “Are you speaking of Clara? She is not my hand maiden, she’s my personal guard,”

Mino chuckled, placing his drink down and glancing at Clara, “Her? She’s your personal guard?”

Clenching her jaw, Star had the urge to slap him yet she instead clenched her fist softly.

“Yes, Clara has been my personal guard since I was a child,” Star explained, “I’ve never been harmed under her protection,”

“Come here,”

Star nodded softly at Clara who only moved under her command, the guard stood in front of both royals, hands placed behind her back and keeping her face neutral as her usual.

“You’re dismissed, go back to your country, my fiance will be under better watch with my men,” Mino stated.

This made Star snap her fan shut, glaring at Mino for a split second before she regained her composure. Star placed her fan in her lap, looking up at Mino.

“Your highness, I will tell Clara when she may be dismissed,” Star pointed out, “She’s not leaving my side, but her up against any of your men and she will beat them,”

Mino leaned in close, smirking slightly at Star, “I’ll be your husband soon, I need to make sure that the people around you are infact worthy to guard you,”

“Please, I’d like for this marriage to work,” That was an utter lie, “Clara stays,”

Pursing his lips, Mino nodded and leaned back.

“Bobby!”

Star’s brows furrowed together as she noticed a guard walk up and stand beside Clara, bowing softly to them both. Mino held a sly smirk on his face.

“If my guard wins this fight, your servant leaves and you stay in my room with me,” Mino stated, “Although if your servant wins, she stays and you keep your room,”

Narrowing her eyes, Star sighed and looked at Clara who glanced at Bobby before looking back at Star.

“Clara,” Star smiled, “Please use any means necessary,”

The girl nodded, stepping back as Bobby draw his long katana. Mino raised an eyebrow as Clara appeared to have no weapon on her body, or any protection for that matter. As he clicked his finger, Clara moved quickly and slid to the ground, kicking Bobby’s legs out from under himself. She then twisted her body, high kicking the guard in the face before slamming him into the ground.

Bobby’s eyes went wide as he found Clara standing on his body, a long hidden blade barely a centimeter from his throat that had come from Clara’s wrist. Star looked at Mino with an amused smile, the king staring at the pair with his jaw slack. He only moved when he realized Star had stood up.

“I’d like to be excused,” Star bowed to him softly, “Clara, let’s go,”

Mino shut his mouth, pursing his lips as Clara slipped off Bobby’s body and stood, standing to the side and following the future queen towards the exit of the throne room.

#fiance au #song star au #day6 additional member au

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gylisaa · 6 years ago

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So I get asked to do a tattoo blog ALOT, and while I don’t see myself as tattooed enough to warrant one – all of y’all do, so here we go.

My first tattoo, the one considered to be the ‘gateway’ tattoo.

My first tattoo! I drew myself, mistakes and all when I was 17, and my best friend Hannah treated me to it on my 18th birthday and she got the same tattooed on her other arm. Best friends 5eva. So no underage tattoos here guys! Not for lack of trying…>:)

Now, if I HAD got tattooed underage, I can honestly say I would have been lumped with a monstrosity for life – I drew up my own design of a trad style anchor, with two swallows either side – doesn’t sound that bad right? Well I wanted it in traditional garish colours, and no where other than my lower abdomen. Let’s just say thank fuck for tattoo artists who check ID and don’t just ‘take my word for it, my mum said I’m allowed one and I’m deffo 18.’

I had the tattoo bug from a very early age, didn’t help that we were regulars at festivals like The Bulldog Bash – a motorbike, music and booze festival run by the Hells Angels, which happened to be a stones throw from our front door. My other best pal Naomi, got her first tattoo there, underage ! And it was me who got called the bad influence!!

Anyway, I fucking love art, so much so I wanna be the art. Is that so strange?

My next tattoo was on a whim, with an old friend of mine in London, we filled up on chocolate vodka, decided to get ‘matching’ hand tattoos and she ended up with an ace of spades, while I ended up with a tiny anchor that has since spread so much it needs explaining every time I show it. Scratcher tattoos, for the win!

On my right hand, a tiny anchor tattoo sits on my finger! Yes, that is an anchor.

My third tattoo, and my first proper learning curve, was that some tattoo artists don’t just ‘know’ what you want! I was besotted with Valerie Vargas style tattoos at this point, having just discovered her work in several tattoo mags, and so when Ryan and I booked a day session I showed the guy a picture I liked and said ‘I want something like that, please.’

19 years old, and shy AF, he showed me a stencil briefly and slapped it on my upper arm, I have a mole on that arm (about where your TB jab might be) and he’d positioned the design – that I’d hardly seen – so the lady’s face had a huge mole on it!

I asked if he could move it, and he scrubbed my arm roughly and moved the stencil. By now I’d seen the design and it wasn’t what I wanted. Feeling too rude to say so and ask for a new one to be drawn up, I sat through an hour or so knowing I hated my tattoo.

Here’s the lesson I have since learnt…

TATTOOS DON’T FUCKING COME OFF!

They are on you FOR LIFE.

That is what you are paying for. A permanent mark. A permanent design that you will look at – FOREVER. If you don’t like it – speak up ! A tattoo artist doesn’t want you to be unhappy! They want you to love your art, on paper, and on skin. It’s their job, and generally – their passion too. Communicate! Be specific, your artist will want to work with you to get an end product you are happy with living with, and they are happy scarring you with.

So yeah, here she is, and she’s remained untouched since that fateful day. Sorry hun.

A few centuries later, had a spell of homelessness, living on the dole and finally getting our acts together and adding to the clan – Lily was born. And upon her ejection, it was time for another tattoo.

I got my second and third finger tatts on Ryan and I’s anniversary, so as an ode to my two loves of my life, I opted for a heart for Ryan (hint hint, I would like a ring) and an L for…Loopy Lily the First. This is one of those photos that at the time I thought was beautiful and now she is grown look back on and think ..urgh Potato Child.

Sorry babe, you are beautiful now.

On maternity leave and with money and time to kill, the arm began to fill up. This was done at Dust n Bones Tattoo in Plymouth, by lovely Robin!

Brightened up the peg something chronic!

Then! Fate struck, and two ‘brummies’ immigrated to Looe one fine day in 2017, (infact, TODAY! Two years ago!) Ryan noticed a shop being refit whilst on a job, and Lo! The Vault in Looe came into our lives, bringing with it two of the best people ON THE PLANET. Melanie Allen (then Bates!) and Cat Allen. We even made them a song. But let’s not go off on that tangent.

Ironically, most of our friends in Cornwall are not Cornish natives, not sure if that says more about Cornwall being The Place To Be, or if it means Cornish folks are…weird AF.

Anyway! Ryan went in, introduced himself (and me, although I was none the wiser a friendship egg was being laid.) And booked himself in for a hand tatt. Long story short – we go there for all our tattoos now, I recommend them to everyone I know – even Aussies, y’never know when one may be visitin’. And frankly, if anyone else were to touch me with a needle I’d feel like I was cheating.

In 2018, Mel and Cat invited us to be part of their wedding, and we were blessed with being a part of their happiest ever day – what an honour!

The hand tattoo that started it all, and our place settings at M & C’s wedding!

And so, here are several tattoos laid upon me by the one and only Catherine Rope Head Allen.

Crystal Ball, the runes mean success, luck all that kinda shit.

Friday 13th tattoo, lucky ol’ 13! Ryan got one too, and he tattooed one on Cat!

A birthday tattoo, and yes I drank tea as it was stabbed into me!

My finger tattoos, and not to sound like a pussy but these are up there with most painful tattoo! I love Cat but when she tattoos me sometimes I’d like to punch her.

One for the Foot Fetishers

Oh, my most recent tattoo is the swallow on my foot, and I nearly forgot to mention my own mishaps – tattooing ‘Love Hate’ on my toes on Christmas day, probably not my greatest idea, but it was funny at the time. And what’s life for, if not for laughing.

Another ‘home job’ a sugar skull on my thigh. Hurt like fuck and Ryan did a line too. A blurry photo honestly does it justice.

The rest of my arm, a crescent moon which was done by Robin at Dust N Bones, which i got ‘cus I liked it. (Life aint always deep and meaningful!) and then following a few successes with my blog and writing in general I got a writing hand, with the word ‘Mother’. This was my own design and tattooed by the wonderful Cat! It actually covers over some scars which was pretty poignant – like making an ugly reminder of a hard time into something that I am proud of and truly self-made. I’ve done well since that period of life, and now whenever I see my arm I am reminded of it.

Lucky Horseshoe – Freshly done! This tattoo was a nod to my first love Amy (RIP), Also Ryan tells me I am supernaturally lucky (that’s true!) and he recently got a tattoo that said ‘Fuck Luck’. So its an ode to being a ying/yang. He’s unlucky, but I’ve got enough luck for the both of us.

Excuse the shite photo, but have you ever tried to take a photo of the bottom of your arm?! This piece was just a gap filler I decided on, on the day. Super bright and colourful dagger and rose.

So… I THINK that is it! Theres another anchor on my ankle, stabbed into me, by me. It’s not too bad actually! I’ve got another tattoo booked this weekend – so we will have to wait and see what that is!! I’m sure I’ll document it all on Instagram…so be sure to check that out! ( @Rocknrollmother_)

I’ve popped a link in above to The Vault’s Facebook if you wanna have a nosy at Cats most brilliant work – I am not the greatest advert for her amazing talent. Their Instagram is here.

That said! A few of you asked for more tattoo blogs, so there will be more to come! Watch this space for a walk through of Ryan’s tattoos! (Wayyyy more interesting than mine) And tattoo etiquette – a guide to getting your first, third or the rest of your tattoos! Etc. If there’s anything you’d like to read, drop a comment or message on my social media.

Thankyou for reading, I hope you enjoyed it (:

My Tattoos! So I get asked to do a tattoo blog ALOT, and while I don't see myself as tattooed enough to warrant one - all of y'all do, so here we go.

#cornwall tattoo #looe tattoo #tattoo #tattoo blog #tattoo care #tattoo guide #tattoos #the vault

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elianamontalvosblog · 5 years ago

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A Woman’s Fight Against Dominance

In the novel Future Home of The Living God society is changing based off of the new government that goes by “The Church of the New Constitution”. What happened to separation of church and state? As we know in today's society many branches of the government are controlled by men. According to Drew Desilver, 24% of Congress is women leaving the other 76% to be men. The Church of the New Constitution is assumed to be created to take control of a virus

spreading causing still born babies and fatalities amongst women who give birth. This novel to me didn't portray men to be as aggressive and hostile towards women as some other works do. It was more of men and women being controlling towards pregnant women rather than just women in general. Pregnant women were ripped out of their homes and dragged through the streets where they would be brought to a “hospital” to be “taken care of”. Edrich illustrates the control men have against pregnant women with the scene “The police ignored him and started dragging his wife. She planted her feet in refusal. Her husband was a medium sized man, but suffused with anger and protective belligerence he seemed to grow larger...He grabbed the male officer and tried to wrestle the man down, but the police officer, more agile and trained, quickly flipped the man onto the ground and drew his gun.” (Pg.75 Edrich). When the women are taken away by these officers, they are transferred to a hospital.

Cedar, our main character of Future Home of The Living God, is found in her home pregnant so she is brought to the hospital to receive the “proper care” for her child until born. In the hospital the women are not to leave their beds. They are actually given a medication which makes the drowsy and unable to comprehend reality. Agnes, a character Cedar meets while in the hospital warns “Just wait until you flush your happy pill. Realities a bitch. A heavy bitch. Fuck. I'll be outta here though.” (Pg.128 Erdrich). Cedar learns the medication they are being given is controlling their bodies to be sleepy all the time, unaware of what the nurses are doing to the patience. This is where the resistance comes into play.

Agnes, the character who warned Cedar about the pill tries to plan her escape but fails horribly. The next day Cedar asks a receptionist if Agnes ever delivered her baby but the

receptionist replied, “They cornered her in the lobby, took her down. Knocked her out, solid. Agnes never made it to the delivery table”.

The result of the control forces Cedar to resist against these inhumane conditions. Agnes is quickly replaced by another pregnant lady who does not speak at first. Cedar learns later on that her name is Tia. Tia had stayed silent to protect herself stating “First law of capture. Never let them know you know their language.” (Pg 162 Erdrich). Cedar notices this mysterious lady was also tossing her pills and not taking them. Cedar observes that the woman is picking at her blanket. As Cedar watches she realizes the woman is waddling up string from the blankets to make a rope to escape. They both end up creating 20 foot rope. The rope has become so large they have to ride it in the heating vent. Orielee, a nurse working in the hospital, comes into Cedar and Tias room. She becomes suspicious of the heating vent and hints to opening it. This causes Tia to launch and attack Orielee. Tia takes Orielee’s body and flips it onto the floor. Tia then looks at Cedar asking for help. Cedar then gets on top of Orielee where Tia “keeps twisting with both fists, more, tighter, until Orielee’s eyes and tongue pop out and her face turns purple.” These woman felt like they had murder someone, because that someone was taking away their basic human rights.

The Handmaids Tales a lso portrays male over female dominance. A new law took place when birth rates dropped 60% in one month. In the show men are the ruler of the household and the government. In a household there is a husband, a wife, a servant, a driver and a handmaid. Each have certain duties and responsibilities they must abide to everyday for God. The husband goes by commander followed by their last name. The commander of the household is usually a man of status. The husbands duties are to love and provide a child to their wife. They do so by

having intercouse with a handmaid. The handmaids only duties are to bear children. The wives are infertle so when the handmaid has her baby, she is forced to give it up blessing the husband and wife with a child. The handmaid is then sent to another house to continue this cycle forever. The driver must earn his wife with status. The wives assigned to the drivers are young girls about the age of 15. Since the birth rates dropped, they use the younger children because they have a high rate of fertility.

June Osborn is the main character of the show. She is a handmaid and is forced to go by Offred. All of the handmaids newly given names begin with “of” and end in their commanders first name. Junes’s whole life is controlled by her household and even her friends. All handmaids are to walk in pairs everywhere. June believes they are enforced to do this to provide surveillance amongst each other. There are also men with guns are every house and every corner.

The ceremony is the name of intercourse. The ceremony is when the wife lies the handmaid on her back with her feet hanging off the edge of the bed. The wife then grabs the handmaids by her wrists and the handmaid is to stare up at the ceiling. The husband then comes into the room to rape (because its not consentual) June against her will and have her concieve a child.

When the handmaids become pregnant they lose even more control over their bodies. After giving birth, the babies are given to the wives and the handmaids are transported to conceive more. When June becomes pregnant with Commander Waterfords baby, Aunt Lydia and the entire household control June’s pregnancy. Aunt Lydia is the one who educated the girls to learn how to be handmaids. Aunt Lydia diets june, watches her bathe, and forces her to get

exercise. The wife also is to monitor Junes eating habits and exercise habits. There is no escape from the control, only attempts to resist.

There have been many times where June tried to escape, or resisted the new way of life. When June was first brought to the women's school for handmaids she tried to escape with her friend Morina. June and Morina try to escape on a train to Boston when June is caught by security for not having an ID. When she is returned to the school, Aunt lydia and other officials tie her up on a table and whip the bottom of her feet for trying to escape.

Offwaren, a handmaid June meets at the school, has her right eye taken out for “talking back”. Morina looks at June when Offwaren returns and says “we are a baby factory now, what do we need a left eye for? The control causes Offwaren to lose her sanity. After Offwaren has her baby she becomes attached, as any mother would. Offwaren tries to kill herself with the baby in her arms saying “I don’t wanna live in a world without my Charlette”. Her punishment for almost committing such a selfish act is to be stoned to death by the other handmaids. When the time comes for Offwaren to be stoned, the girls resist. The result of their resistance, they thought, was to be hanged. All the handmaids involved were brought to a hanging site where they had the ropes put around their necks and made to think they were going to die. Aunt Lydia spears them and says this is a “lesson to be learned”. The handmaids were then each individually tortured. Some had there flesh burned over a stove while others had their tongues ripped out.

Another friend of June, Offglen, stole an official vehicle, ran over and killed a guard. She was then captured and woke up in a hospital. When Offglen looked down she noticed they had cut her clitorus off as a punishment. Aunt Lydia knows Offglen used to be a lesbian but that is now forbidden and the term “gender trador” is used to catogorize LGBTQ. Offglen is then sent

to the colonies. The colonies where a nuclear bomb took place. A war had happened and is lightly touched upon in the TV show. The colonies are full of radiation that burns your flesh off. When you are sent to the colonies you are forced to work yourself to death digging holes to clean the radioactive chemicals.

The handmaids resisted yet again with the best attack yet, a bombing. There was a bombing in an official office where they seemed to be presenting the handmaids and the accomplishments made so far. June’s shopping partner Offglen #2 sets off a bomb at the Rachel and Leah Center which is basically the control office. Many official men, handmaids and even Offglen #2 die from the bombing. Mr.Waterford is injured in the bombing and is unable to work for a short period of time. While he is gone his wife and Offred tamper with the laws since he is in charge of creating them. Mr.Waterford finds out when he returns from home and severely whips his wife on the back while Offred is forced to watch.

Although these scenarios don’t seem likely, women are facing similar issues in contemporary society. You should be able to control anything you want to do with your body. Alabama thinks much differently. The official Alabama Law website states that abortions are infact, illegal. A lot of other states are considering illegalizing abortions as well. Missouri, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Georgia have pursued bills that would ban abortions as soon as a physician is able to detect a fetal heartbeat. The law does allow an abortion if the mothers life or the fetus’ life is at risk. The law does not permit any abortions for rape or incest. Under “The Alabama Human Life Protection Act”, preforming an abortion would be a felony due to “homicide purposes”. If the law is broken you will be cited for a Class A felony charge and serve up to life in prison. If you attemp an abortion you are cited with a Class C felony serving up to

10 years in prison. Women in 2019 are being punished for a choice they should be able to make with their body. When looking online at the officials of the Alabama government I noticed every single one of them were men. Men passed this law prohibiting a woman to be able to make a choice with her body. Men in 2019 are controlling women's rights just like the women in the dystopian fiction novels.

The dominance the males have over the females in these novels is the same dominance the government is trying to have upon women in our society. Women should become more aware of the control that is being put upon us. As the women do in these novels, we need to resist. We need to protest, we need to make people more aware of what could come to our state or even country. We are living in such a dangerous world of dominance and power. When given so much power how are you to please anyone? It is understandable and acceptable for people to disagree with abortions, but what about the victims of rape? What about mothers who are drug addicts who know they can’t mentally handle a child? What about victims of incest? What are we to do when dominance and power between men and women will always be a problem in contemporary society?

Citations

FindLaws Team. “Alabama Abortion Laws.” Findlaw, Thomson Reuters, 15 May 2019, statelaws.findlaw.com/alabama-law/alabama-abortion-laws.html. Law, Tara. “Abortion Bill Details: Alabama, Georgia, Missouri Laws Explained.” Time, Time, 18 May 2019, time.com/5591166/state-abortion-laws-explained/.

#liberal feminism #female #feminist #womanpower #beautiful woman #womans rights #being a woman #women #politics #dominance #male domination

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tomandharriet · 6 years ago

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Farewell for now, India

A night sleeping under the desert stars was always going to be a tough act to follow, so we gave the honour to another night bus and headed to Udaipur, ‘The City of Lakes’. Udaipur is a truly beautiful city, with stunning architecture, palaces, hilltop vistas and old havelis everywhere you look. We decided that it was an apt place to up our accommodation budget and treated ourselves to a stay in a haveli hotel, complete with rooftop pool. If Varanasi is the last place anybody should start their time in India, Udaipur has to be a strong candidate to be one of the first. It has a lovely cafe culture and at times almost felt European. It’s lakes offer some great cycling routes and one is even home to an observatory!

We decided to put a couple of very old bikes to the test and they just about got us to a palace at the top of a large hill on the outskirts of Udaipur. It became apparent to us on the climb that cycling up the hill isn’t the usually done thing and as more and more locals cheered us on or just looked at us in amazement, we had no option but forget about the fact our bikes were basically falling apart and push on to the summit, where a stunning view and a gaggle of monkeys awaited us.

Apart from all the food, cafes and an excellent cookery class which will of course be covered later, we spent the rest of our time wondering around the beautiful streets or chilling back at our hotel, where we (Tom) found out the hard way that the rooftop pool, which looked so inviting in the warm but deceptive winter sun, was infact unheated! We finished our time in Udaipur with a quick tour around the main city palace. On its own we’re sure it would be pretty spectacular, but off the back of all the other forts and palaces in Rajasthan, a form of fort fatigue was setting in and we didn’t give it the time it likely deserved.

Now winding our way back to Jaipur with just a few final days left in India, we bypassed Chittorgarh, famous for.. it’s fort, opting instead to visit lesser known Bundi, off the back of recommendations from Ciarán and a guy we met in Varanasi. Being an old town in Rajasthan, Bundi does of course have its own palaces and forts, but the interesting thing here was that Bundi is significantly less touristy compared to the other places we visited in Rajasthan and much of it had been neglected as a result. When entering the fort, which was long since abandoned by the last maharajah, we were offered two options, to take either a guide or a stick, as current inhabitants are monkeys and they don’t take too kindly to visitors! After a brief demonstration, we opted for the stick and set off on what turned into a 5 hour exploration of the eerily quiet palace and overgrown fort ruins. The whole experience was actually far more interesting than walking around the well maintained counterparts found in more popular parts of Rajasthan (although Jodhpur still holds the top spot in our eyes!).

Bundi has an abundance of Stepwells. A common feature in most the places we visited, but nowhere more spectacular than here. Originally used for bathing and as a source of water, many are now neglected and in Bundi’s case, dry as a result of a mini drought starting to effect the areas water levels. Our favourite stepwell really encapsulated what we saw so frequently in India, beauty and disorder combined. With a seemingly endless network of steps, the design of this stepwell in particular was stunning. But it has also fallen into disrepair and covered with what at first glance looked like lots of rubbish. We were later informed by a local that this was Pooja, or offerings to the Gods, often consisting of picture frames, flowers and candles which cannot be cleaned up or removed.

After spending the past few days in some of India’s most touristy areas, it was really nice to spend some final time back in a part of India that wasn’t set up for visitors. One of our favourite things about our time in India was the level of interest shown by locals to our visit. Always intrigued to know what we think of their town or country. In fact we (mostly Harriet and her blonde hair) caused quite a stir everywhere we walked in Bundi and frequently found children flocking around us, fascinated by our cameras and amazed to see photos of themselves.

Bundi was also home to one of our favourite accommodations of the trip, Dev Nivas Heritage Hotel, a beautiful 400 year old Haveli with lovely staff and simple but delicious food. It also had a rooftop for kite flying, something which seemingly every child in Bundi practiced in the setting sun, in preparation for their upcoming kite festival. Naturally we had to give it a go, until it shared the fate of most kites, entangled in electricity cables, a common sight at this time of year!

After one final night bus, we reached Jaipur, our last stop in India. We knew how much we would miss the food, so spent a lot of our time here stuffing our faces on walking tours and at restaurants. Although not explicitly on a food tour, our guide on the first tour soon realised we were most interested in sampling the best Jaipur had to offer and he was happy to oblige (more on that to follow!). Between food spots, we learnt about some of Jaipur’s other features, such as Makrana marble, one of Rajasthan’s proudest exports - used to build the Taj Mahal, along with many other monuments. We found time to visit some final temples, forts and palaces, the most striking being the Amber Palace. However, it wasn’t enough to topple our front runner, Jodhpur’s Mehrangarh fort, which will likely cite our blog on next years pamphlet. We are delighted to announce that Jaipur did offer us a winner for the best tuk tuk favour stop. Just as it looked like Agra’s embroidery shop would take the crown, on our last afternoon, our driver passionately pitched a nearby block printing shop. As he had been our driver for the whole day, we decided to go along with it and were pleasantly surprised! Having studied similar methods during her art foundation course, the printing was of great interest to Harriet. The quality of their work was also really nice, so we left with a table cloth and matching napkins to remember Rajasthan by.

Food

Something that was very popular in Udaipur that Harriet got to enjoy a few times for breakfast was the aloo paratha. Made fresh to order it was a roti dough stuffed with spiced potato mash, flattened, fried in ghee and served fresh and warm. The dish would normally be accompanied with a tangy plain yoghurt and lime pickle or tomato chutney. A very comforting dish, that was such a great and simple meal to start the day with.

There was a clear highlight for us when it came to the food in Udaipur (and probably even India) and that was our brilliant Indian cookery class with Shashi. The story behind her cookery business was so inspirational we couldn’t help but feel in absolute awe of her ongoing determination. Shashi tragically lost her husband 20 years ago with three young children to look after and limited to only being able to work from her home due to being a woman in her religion. Shashi’s strength was in her cooking and slowly with support of friends, family and passing travellers she built up her company and reputation from nothing. We lost count of the number of dishes we cooked in the class. Everything from curries, chutneys, sweet and savoury breads to the most delicious chai we have tasted all trip. With the help of Shashi and her son and alongside a really lovely South African family we were continuously helping, watching and tasting for over 4 hours! By the time we sat down to our banquet of food we were already pretty stuffed but wow was it delicious. We cannot wait to start cooking some of these dishes when we get home.

One of the most interesting things we learnt on the course was that for pretty much all curry dishes they use a base sauce that they call “magic sauce”. Made using chopped garlic, chillies, ginger, pulped tomato and a combination of spices you can then freeze to use when you wish. You would think everything would end up tasting the same but that really isn’t the case. Just a really great way to add instant flavour to your curry.

We spent our time in Jaipur cramming in as many Indian snacks and sweets as our stomachs could handle. This was only accentuated during our brilliant walking tour of Jaipur, which just turned into more of a food tour of the city. Our guide lead us to the back streets of the city where they made rabri on mass for local restaurants. We saw deliciously light and fluffy naans being skilfully placed and baked inside a tandoori oven, mustard oil being made from a machine that looked like it had been running none stop for the last 100 years (probably because it had), the chilli wholesaler who could barely move in his shop for all the mountains of dried chillies and tumeric being ground up covering the entire shop (and workers) in the bright yellow spice.

However, our favourite meal in Jaipur was the poha we had for our final breakfast in India. This felt appropriate given it was one of our first meals in India, eating it before climbing the Kalavantin Durg. We do talk about this in our first blog post but for those who want a little reminder it’s a breakfast dish commonly found in the North of India. Made using flat rice, dry fried with a combination of spices and served with chopped red onion, chillies, nuts, pomegranates and coriander. Sweet and spicy with all the textures, such a uniquely brilliant dish.

India ‘Outro’

And so here we are, at the end of an era. The blog has finally reached the end of India! We’re not quite sure whether this, or the moment we actually left India is more of an emotional landmark for us. But seriously, India has a firm place in both our hearts and our renowned ‘top 5’ lists. How somewhere can be so vast, yet so warm, friendly and of course, unique, is staggering. You could spend your whole life in India and still be surprised and amazed everyday, by what it has to offer. We’ll remember it for the people, the food, the chai, the smells (good and bad) and then for the food again. Leaving India brought on a feeling that neither of us had felt before. But then we’d never spent 2 months in another country before and you learn and adjust a lot in that amount of time to the customs and way of life - and there’s so much to love about the way Indians go about their lives. We’re still sorting through thousands of photos we took during our stay, but nothing we can show or tell you about India will really do it justice until you’ve been there to find out for yourselves. And we’ll definitely be going back for more.. as it turns out sooner than we thought, back to Mumbai, albeit very briefly, for a stopover on our flight home!

Travel Jukebox - ‘Blood’ by Rhye

With the amount of night buses we took during this section of India, it’s fitting that we talk about an album recommended specifically for those occasions. Rhye’s second album, Blood, was picked by Xanthe and her suggested occasion, as a night bus album, is a perfect one.

Put simply, Rhye’s music is a treat for your ears. Beautifully soothing doesn’t go far enough. As with their first album, Woman, the album is brilliantly paced, with some excellent instrumentals supporting what is Rhye’s obvious USP, the vocal. We’re not going to share the fact that Xanthe gave us when recommending the album, because we think that it’s better you listen to some of Rhye’s music first and then do a little research into them. You’ll discover the fact pretty quickly, and then when you know, you’ve got to go and listen to the album all over again. We still can’t quite believe it’s true!

TLDR; Rajasthan gave us the perfect send off from India and could be the perfect starting point for you!

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megamanishashekhawat-blog · 7 years ago

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very very powerful vashikaran mantra

https://vashikaran.mobi/powerful-vashikaran-mantra-5/

very very powerful vashikaran mantra

Powerful vashikaran mantra to stop marriage, to prevent the life of a true lover of marriage, he will lose his / her love. This is after the break a big problem, how to return his lost love, and it will help me with my ex-girlfriend / boyfriend that this is the result. One of my clients asked me one day, Very powerful and strong vashikaran mantra for get you love back, but it should be repeated in order to succeed in returning the mantra that I have a boyfriend. If you are facing this kind of problem, or if the victims with their problems known any love lost and love to go back and ready to conquer the Vedic astrology, then you turn it on you can apply to vashikaran mantra, and we return to his former -girlfriend / guy will discard the love spell. So you want to get back with his friend kamdev mantra, and then contacted in the near future. We would like to return lost are always free of charge vashikaran powerful spells in their lives.

Vashikaran mantras can be used in different types of life scenarios – such as your lover is falling for another woman and you wish to get him back towards you or it can also be used to cast a spell on a girl or guy you are attracted to.

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Vashikaran in general helps you to attract and influence the desired person towards you. Thus Vashikaran mantras are especially good in situations when, say for example you fail to express your true feelings to the desired girl or guy – whom you are head over heels in love with.

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If the Vashikaran ritual is done properly then you will get unbelievable results – like say that special woman will come and propose you. This is very true in case of Vashikarans and I have seen astounding results myself although it was not me who tried these mantras.

Vashikaran mantras have the uncanny power to make an enemy your friend and fall for you. Marriage disputes can be easily solved with these types of Vashikaran mantras too and you can make your boss your puppet if he is too much dominating.

Vashikaran can be done in various ways – either through rituals or through charms and amulets that you have to wear on your body.

5 Powerful Vashikaran Mantras for Love ( Binding Spells )

1. AUM HUM ( INSERT THE NAME OF THE PERSON HERE ) MAY VASHYAM KURU KURU SWAHA — Chant 21 rosary cycles and perform a Dashansh Homan after you are done chanting. This process will give very powerful Vashikaran powers.

You can use this Vashikaran mantra to control both sex easily. This Vashikaran mantra to get back lost love is a very powerful one.

2. AUM HRIM SAH — The mantra attains power if it is chanted for a minimum of one lac times – especially on the day of Holi or any Solar or Lunar eclipse.

Put some hair strands of the desired girl you wish to control before you and start chanting this Vashikaran mantra – 1 Lakh times to start seeing potentially powerful effects. This is an ideal mantra to make someone love you.

3. AUM KSHAN KSHAM KSHAH SAU HAH HAH SAH THAH THAH THAH THAH SWAHA — Japa this mantra 21000 times and make the food energized. Eat this food keeping your wish to control the desired person with his/her photo in your mind. He / She will soon be under your control and start obeying your commands.

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4. AUM NAMO ADI RUPAYE ( INSERT THE NAME OF THE PERSON HERE ) AKARSHANAAM KURU KURU SWAHAA — Start this mantra by keeping the desired woman’s or man’s picture before you. Take some blood from your finger and write the name of the person on un-broken bhojpatra with the pen of Kaner.

After which, get the bhojpatra energized by the Vashikaran mantra 1108 times and dip it in pure honey for a minimum of 21 days to see the effects.

The person in question will be with you sooner than you expect. This is infact a Vashikaran mantra to get back lost love – Vashikaran mantra for love back.

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5. Vashikaran Mantra To Bring Back Your Lover or Husband – ( Tikka Vashikaran Mantra ) – AUM KAAM MALINI TH TH SWAHAA — Mix pure Molasses with Pit of any fish and make the dish energized by chanting the above mantra for a minimum of 1108 times.

After you are done with the vashikaran mantra – put a Tilak (from the ingredients ) on your forehead. You will notice your husband obeying you forever.

That is it.

I have tried to pen down some of the best vashikaran mantras available around in this particular article. Hope this will help all of you who are seeking free vashikaran mantras online.

You are advised to stay away from hurting others relationships using such love mantra chants as the one on this page.

Casting binding and attraction spells such as this one with a malefic intention will stop you from yielding any good result.

I do not advise using mantras such as these to break up someone else from another relationship just for your selfish motives / happiness.

Very powerful and strong vashikaran mantra for get you love back; our mantra is very powerful. Once we cast a spell, no. The results of our mantra, you’ll be surprised. Especially voodoo spells and Muslim blood is not child’s play. They can be dangerous to be used to the detriment of very strong, and if an innocent person, or any negative intent. We Tantra Mantra or as a result of wrong love spells or use any of the shelter, you’re not used any responsibility. Lord interesting Hindu god Shiva. He also inexperienced Nath, which means that he is a very kind person and has brought peace and prosperity in the lives of his followers. It shows the love of God Siva. In order to be lost back sadhak love wants to please Lord Shiva, and then Shiva and Parvati Mantra can be useful for Very powerful and strong vashikaran mantra for get you love back. Here I have to please Lord Shiva, Lord Shiva and Parvati mantra to get back to my boyfriend / girlfriend, I want to go back to his former love spells, astrology love of treatment to get married, want to be successful in the Vedic means and totke be happy after marriage. This mantra throw a marriage of love or parents for the powerful Shiva mantra is useful to get her husband to agree. Ganesha mantra love is effective for this problem. In my next post I will introduce not like Ganesha mantra.

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Astrology is a Very powerful mantra for get love back, which may take some back in your life. Broken relationships can be powerful tools. In today’s environment, we see people often break their relationship for the sake of ego and anger. There are in astrology and spells to get back to the different ways the former love. One of the most powerful tools Vashikaran mentioned in astrology. It will really help you and take you back to your former lover.

Simple vashikaran mantra for love back Vashikaran totke mantras are an integral part of Indian astrology science. This is a bunch of control a person who is seriously powerful mantra and is used to influence the work according to their will. Mantra vashikaran in love is easy or simple love has been used a long time after, to help people to get their loved ones. However, you’ll be able to do this mantra and prayer led by an expert when you only get positive results.

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Vashikaran mantra is a powerful mantra that is useful for make attraction towards someone, this vashikaran mantra so powerful mantra and this powerful vashikaran mantra is extremely useful. Vashikaran mantra is effective that you can complete your all desires with the help of this vashikaran mantras, vashikaran mantra is a power of attraction very important for attraction. Vashikaran mantra is useful to solve out the problems of love relations mostly, but it’s also nice for a successful life, family issues, helpful for each and every situation.

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very ancient mantras that have been specified by certain scriptures help you find the love of your life. In this article, we will be telling you about some of the vashikaran mantras that can be practiced. But there are some precautions that should definitely be practiced while you are actually doing it.

Firstly, you need to take certain precautions while practicing this technique. These mantras should be used only for the person you genuinely love and would like to make them come into your life forever. There should be complete focus while reciting the mantras and it is better if you have been practicing some concentration-enhancing technique like ‘Traatak’ prior to this.

However, seeking the help of a love marriage expert for vashikaran specialist is the best thing you can do. This will guide you to good results in an easy way and get love-marriage problem solutions. In case you have been in love with someone, and you lose them, you cannot forget them easily. If again and again you feel haunted by the memories of your love, vashikaran is the technique that would help you out in any case.

Powerful Boyfriend Vashikaran Mantra, Love is an amazing and wonderful thing in everyone life, in the case of women they will feel some extra caring they got in their life.

almost all girls are somewhat possessive about their boyfriend and they need their boyfriend as their own person. Today, we are going to discuss the powerful vashikaran mantra for the boyfriend to set your love with full of safety.

Vashikaran mantras are powerful through that you can control anyone in life but only for the genuine purpose. The scopes of vashikaran mantra in the case of love are something special and it shows the perfect result in some people in the case of leading a happy life. Some advantages of vashikaran mantra in love is;

You will get your love back in your life.

You can control your lover in any cases.

You can avoid other person’s influences from your lover.

You can lead a happy life forever.

The vashikaran mantra will get more strength based on the dedication that you are given for it, so before doing the mantra you can contact with a specialist for good guidance.

very very powerful vashikaran mantra for love back

The most common and powerful mantras are given below do the mantra with the perfect procedure.

To attract and set your boyfriend in your control you can do this vashikaran mantra. This will help to control your boyfriend mind if he is a cheater or he loves another one more than you.

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“Omya Huuma (“Your Lover or Ex lover name”) May Vashyam Mai Kuruu Kuuruu Swaahaa.”

This mantra has also very good power in the case of controlling your boyfriend.

”Omaye Namoha Kaat Vikaat Aghora Ruapini (Your Lover or Ex lover name) Say Vashyama Swaahaa.”

In love there the chances of misunderstanding we can’t avoid, but the vashikaran mantra has the power to solve all the issues that you are facing in your love life.

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whatilooklikeeveryday-blog · 7 years ago

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Today I look unsure

Everyday I slowly step up to the mirror to ask it what today’s look will be, today I did the same but now I also spend a whole lot of time doing the preparation work first before posing the question, lately I experience bad skin so now like all my sisters I also sit, polish and dab myself for a good amount of time just to control the break outs and black spots ( any woman’s nightmare!). On completion of which I then pose the question of what look shall I wear today? The answer was that of a girl with soul penatrating eyes who wore a sombre expression, I’ll take it although it’s not what I would’ve chosen on this particular day. I stepped out and drove home from this exhausting 24 hour cold winter shift. I will find her still in bed if I drive over 80 miles an hour, although she has company I will jump into her side. Traffic was okay seems like no one visits the beachside areas on chilly mornings, the drive along the coast is always bliss, our sea is gorgeous and the surrounding mountains make for a majestic backdrop. Even the sand dunes here are adorned by an evergreen coat of shrubs only foot pathways are single patchments of white sand with imprints of feet rushing down to splash into the ice cold atlantic ocean. I’m old enough to have met a whole lot of unpleasantries of this world. But none of them to this day have affected me as much as betrayal. This monster makes us forget how beautiful we are, it takes away our power by injecting it with fear nothing outdraws monstrosity from a woman than fear of abandonment. I’ve thus learnt that the only treatment for betrayal is acceptance, take all of it in and move on. I’m weak but I know that my strength and weakness are connected so I allow myself to be weak, I will indulge immensely on the subject of me, please allow me to be selfish and use the word I repeatedly and talk about me for what seems to be a while. I got home met our guests with kindness as any good host should. I jumped into bed with my woman. She had already mentioned that I should not go to church because I’m in need of some rest as I will work a full week from tomorrow because I’m sometimes self righteous I agreed. So we decided we will indulge in loose talk of no apparent order, naturally I listened mostly as they spoke about the events that took place the previous day at a party they attended, they then mentioned a prophetic ministry that sounded a bit incredulous, I suggested we go attend this church’s service. We prepared to go so all the fuss to look good took place, gosh we are so shallow! Her friend then mentioned something about their missing scarf as though it was a magic word I also mentioned how I miss my scarf that my girlfriend left at her house, she retaliated saying she wears no scarf it’s just an orange cheap scarf…Well I was baffled at first and thought that it can’t be happening already turns out I was too late as she completely shut down by the time I realised why she was far too gone into it. I followed her into the bathroom but by then she wanted nothing to do with me, her friend was there feeling awkward and the friend’s baby just wailed. I talked to her trying to bring the giant waves back to the shoreline but no I was shoved repeatedly I knew if I persisted I’d get hurt so I retreated back and admitted defeat. We attended to the baby until she was calm and attempted to feed her. Well we managed to quench that storm out. My girlfriend got jealous and dragged them out the door. I asked for her money saying it’s my change because I knew they were going to get a taxi with it she gave it to me cursing and all but they still left me there. Did I say betrayal is abandonment?! I tried not to feel anything instead of being overwhelmed I started praying about it fighting the spirit of defeat. I continued getting ready, a knock at the door… I guess they’re back before I got to the door the door was flung wide open and the broom beside the door was dragging the key from the floor to open the gate. I stood and watched I’m afraid of her, you may think I’m not but I really am afraid of her for one main reason lately she provokes me to hit her. It’s a vow I took a year ago that we shall never again ingage in physical problem solving. Its been over a year without physical violence between us. I want to keep it that way for as long as we are together. Her reasoning when she is angry is not too well and she is always pushing to do something when we argue llke pack up her bags and go, I decided I will always allow her to walk out whenever she feels like it and says she has had enough. This deeply saddens me it brings me too much sorrow in my heart. But I let her be and say my solemn goodbyes each time she leaves. Loving another this much is no good for either one of us. We have been together for two years now though the amount of ups and downs is over the brim we both know we’re drowning, the flood is reaching our throats now and we don’t know how much more we can take from each other. There is this wall that she pulls up each time she doesn’t like what I’m saying and mostly its because she jumps to conclusions and she is almost always way off. I’m frustrated by this behaviour I need it to change because we are running to a point of no return. I don’t want to be with no one else but that also doesn’t mean I should be this woman’s pushover. Is it a weakness this love I have for her or what? I have too many questions but I know this: I’ll be with no other person after this I’m not just broken and angry but I’m completely undone, if she were an object I’d take out the batteries and let her reboot a little each time she feels agitated. There are so many pressures in this life. I know she wants a child and stability but she is still finding herself, she carries a different way of life to mine. I plan and prepare a forecast for any idea I want to persue and follow up on a step by step procedure. She skips everything and demands immediately what she wants and guess what she gets it. The God we serve is indeed beyond amazing He provides you with your needs and wants regardless of these earthly procedures. The baby will be ours I’ll probably adopt her biological child so if the baby will be mine too I need to plan and prepare a few things okay I mean everything must be planned out right to the birth method. So I don’t just impulsively plunge into the deep end of such life changing matters head first period. The baby already has a name Nirvana, we would love a girl child. Well fine so I’m still getting my ducks into a row before we invite Nirvana on my side. On the other hand Miracle has no plans to wait any longer but at the same time she is not joining the party and earn a living to support Nirvana. She has an ex who drives a fancy german car who is willing to get her pregnant at anytime. Now I’m thinking she probably deserves to get what she wants anytime she wants it. How will that be as I feel torn apart infact I’m ragged when she leaves like when she did a second ago, I lose a part of me that connects my soul to body. The spaces open up in between my soul which seems to wonder off and return randomly as though it has a responsibility to ensure hers is doing alright before it could settle down

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fanbun · 7 years ago

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(previous part - 4)

KIDTRONIC STARTS ACTING WEIRD

“Come on guys,” said the slightly aggitated assistant, “how many times am i going to have to tell you? No Playgrounding in the Yellow Zones!”

Now assistants were employees of The Constructus Corporation. Their function was to make sure everything ran smoothly on The Ziggurat. Random Boy and Kidtronic didn’t really like assistants that much.

“Now although i really don’t want to have to be the one to melt your ice-creams, i’m going to have to confiscate them so, do the right thing and hand them over guys.”

“No!” cried Random Boy, “You must not remove my friend’s Playground from his face!”

“And who’s gonna stop me?” replied the assistant in a fairly confident manner.

“Well obviously not me,” continued Random Boy, “Just look how big you are, I mean… you must work out. But now, please allow me to explain the situation. You must not remove my friend’s Playground from his face as it would cause him to slip into an incredibly dramatic epileptic seizure, and I assure you, it would most definitely not be a pretty sight. It has been happening to quite alot of kids on The Ziggurat lately. Surely you’ve heard about it?”

“I, uh… well,” stammered the assistant.

“Yes, last time it happened, it took six assistants to subdue him, and many people were seriously injured in the process. So, at the moment, I am currently escorting my friend here to his therapist. That is why I too am wearing my Playground, not just to look cool no, but rather to jack into my friend’s mainframe and well, to hold his hand so to speak.

Now, due to some very, very weird co-incedence, Kidtronic actually did start having a terrifying paranormal spasm right there and then, however he had installed a special disrupter mechanism some time before this that would activate itself automatically everytime these seizures occured. This mechanism would digitally cloak his physical appearance whilst simultaneously projecting a perfect holographic representation of himself doing normal stuff in place of him. So his actual image was just a digital blur while an incredibly realistic virtual image of himself stood in his place listening politely to the conversation. He developed this mechanism secretly after an embarrassing scene that occured at his one friend’s birthday party a long time ago and also because he always had this strange feeling that he was being watched the whole time. He would activate this temporary cloak now’n again in order to enjoy a little private time, like now. Kidtronic had also downloaded this disrupter programme onto Random Boy’s Playground so that he could help Kidtronic out if ever he slipped into one of these fits. The ringing in his ears had exploded into a deafening scream as he bent over in agony while those deep voices chanted instructions over and over again in his head in that language he still did not understand. He sensed something menacing behind him.

“WHO’S THERE?” he cried out in his mind… …and spun around but was met by none other than his shadow as the seizure suddenly subsided.

At that Random Boy concluded his conversation with assistant and took Kidtronic gently by the arm.

“Thank you very much,” he added and off they went.

“Yo that was pretty close” said Random Boy to Kidtronic.

“YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF IT…” growled Kidtronic

“Huh, what do you mean… And what’s up with that weird voice?”

“I’M NOT SURE… QUICK, ACTIVATE YOUR DISRUPTER!”

“Another fit huh?” enquired Random Boy complying.

“I HAVE WAITED THIRTEEN YEARS FOR THIS MOMENT,” continued Kidtronic in his new deep, dark, digital voice.

“Shoo, that’s quite a long time.”

“IT IS YOU.”

“Huh?”

“YOU ARE THE ONE,” he continued as his internal weaponry began to awaken itself… “I WAS BUILT BY MY FATHER THIRTEEN YEARS AGO INSIDE HIS SECRET HIDE AWAY, DEEP BELOW THE HIMALAYAS BEFORE BEING PLANTED INCONSPICUOUSLY ON THE ZIGGURAT DISGUISED AS AN ORDINARY HUMAN CHILD. I AM INFACT THE CONSTRUCTUS CORPORATION’S ULTIMATE WEAPON, THE KAI DEMON:065… WHO’S SOLE PURPOSE IS TO SEEK AND DESTROY THAT SUBTLE RIPPLE IN THE MESH THAT COULD VERY WELL UNDO ALL THAT THE ILLUMINED ONE’S HAVE TAKEN SO LONG TO WEAVE. IT IS YOU RANDOM BOY, YOU ARE THE ONE, THE ONE THAT PROPHET NEXT FORESAW… THE ONE CAPABLE OF DISRUPTING OUR ORGANIZATION, THE ONE I HAVE BEEN SUB-CONSCIOUSLY ATTRACTED TO. THAT IS WHY WE ARE FRIENDS AND THAT IS WHY I MUST NOW KILL YOU!”

“Cool!” replied Random Boy, “What’s this game called?”

“DIE RANDOM BOY, DIE!”

“Die Random Boy Die… Hmm, don’t you think that’s a bit drama…”

But his sentence was cut short as a rediculously concentrated blast of genetically engineered bio-electricity got released from Kidtronic’s palm and surged through Random Boys body, killing him instantly! And then, something most peculiar happened. Somehow or another Kidtronic’s human side, overrode his programming in the twelve seconds that followed which caused him to release another bio-charge into his friend just before Random Boy’s ghost left his body causing him to sit up with a jolt.

“Whoa, what the hell’s going on?” he gasped.

“YOU’RE NOT TO BELIEVE THIS…” answered Kidtronic and proceeded to explain everything that had happened up till that point.

It turned out that Kidtronic’s father was infact none-other than Mr. Kiriaku, the CEO of The Constructus Corporation! He had built THE KAI DEMON:065 as a precautionary measure because of a vision his soothsayer Next had experienced which foresaw the birth of a child that would possess the unusual ability of being able to begin a ripple that could very well undo the system of control their organization had been constructing since pre-documented history. Now through some perculiar freak of science, Kidtronic had advanced independently way beyond his father’s expectations, the most rellevent of his many secret developments being the disrupter programme which enabled him to cloak a whole series of important events leading up to an including the whole assisination/re-animation thing. So no-one from Constructus Serveillance had any idea that THE KAI DEMON:065 had infact located the elusive ripple in The Mesh!

Kidtronic then told Random Boy that the little home-made television show they had both been working on for quite some time now would be a great way to overthrow the current system that governed The Ziggurat and that his new, independent purpose in life was to do just that. He also told Random Boy that he better win the big MCing competition he was about to enter.

“WE MIGHT AS WELL GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD HUH?”

“You bet!” replied Random Boy and off they went.

(next part - 6)

#the ziggurat #the constructus corporation #watkin tudor jones #waddy jones #Die Antwoord

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andersboulanger-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Cupid and Mind - The Tale of the Godliness of the Heart

There was once a king who'd three children, all beautiful maidens, however the youngest, Mind, excelled her sisters greatly. Her fame spread, and from everywhere men sailed to look upon her with wonder and appreciation and do her homage as if she were in truth one of the immortals, no one ever presented a considered to Venus herself. Her temples were neglected, her altars nasty with cold ashes. All the accolades once hers were now fond of a mere girl meant someday to die. As often if the goddess was introuble, she flipped for help to her child, that gorgeous winged youth whom some called Cupid and others Appreciate, against whose arrows there's no protection, neither in heaven nor to the world. "Use your energy" said Venus, "and create the hussy fall madly deeply in love with the vilest and many wretched creature there's within the whole world". Venus left Cupid with the happy assurance he would easily result in Mind's ruin. What happened, however, wasn't what she'd counted on. Mind did not fall in deep love with a horrible wretch. In fact, she did not fall inlove in any way. Both her siblings, although inferior in beauty, were splendidly married, each to a king. Psyche, the all-stunning, lay sad and sole, just respected, never liked. Her father eventually travelled to an oracle of Apollo to ask his advice on getting her an excellent man. Apollo stated that Mind, wearing deepest mourning, has to be fixed around the peak of a rugged mountain and left alone, which there her destined husband, a fearful winged snake, more powerful than the gods themselves, would arrive at her and make her his wife. So was completed, and around the large hilltop inside the darkness Mind lay, awaiting she knew not what fear. As she wept and trembled, a gentle breath of air, the soft breathing of the west wind, Zephyr, got through and lilted her up; her issues left, she slept. She woke up besides a shiny lake and on its bank was a most stately mansion which appeared empty, but noises came which she could clearly hear. "We are your servants. Please enter your house without fear and soak and refresh", the voices told her, laying a most luxurious party in thin air.

The bath was one of the most beautiful, along with the food one of the most delicious she had actually appreciated, while a terrific choir appeared to be singing to the harp. During the day aside from the strange companionship of the sounds she was alone, but in some mysterious way she felt sure together with the coming of the night time her husband will be along with her. And thus it happened. When she believed him beside her and heard his voice softly murmuring in her ear, all her fears left her. She knew without seeing him that here was no creature or form of terror, however the partner and partner she had searched and waited for. She was happy and time passed swiftly with this half-and-half companionship. One night, however, her hidden partner told her that her sisters were coming to weep for her at the peak of the mountain from where she had faded, which she should not satisfy them as it forbade sorrow on her. However the lady in her could not recognize this problem, and she wept and wept, until he told her, "Do your path then." Zephyrus produced the sisters along on his wings, and all rejoiced their meeting. They talked and spoke, however the siblings little by little grew quite jealous to view the brilliance and the riches of the structure that made their particular look drab in contrast. So they prepared a story, and convinced their sister that her husband was infact an evil, usually why should he shun the light of your day and arrive at her invisible only on nights. The 2 jealous sisters told Mind, then pregnant with Cupid's kid, that rumor was that she'd committed an excellent and horrible snake who'd eat her and her unborn child when her time arrived for it to be given. They urged Mind to conceal a knife and oil lamp inside the bedchamber, to wait till her husband was asleep, and to light the light and slay him at once if it had been while they said. Mind sadly followed their advice. Within the light of the light Mind recognized the fair form on the bed while the god Cupid himself, and cursing her folly, tried to kill herself together with the blade she had meant to use to utilize on him. However, she lowered the blade, and her spirits were increased as she gazed about the beautiful young god. She curiously examined his golden arrows, and accidentally pricked himself together, and was consumed with desire for her husband. She began to kiss him, but as she did, a decrease of oil fell from Mind's lamp and onto Cupid's chest and he awoke. He flew away, but she grabbed his leg and was carried with him until her muscles gave out, and she fell for the soil, sick in your mind. Cupid, within the meanwhile choose to go to his mother's step to have his injuries looked after, however when Venus observed his account and discovered that it was Mind whom he had selected, she left him angrily alone in his discomfort, and went forth to find the woman of whom made her still more jealous. Poor Mind in her despairing wanderings was wanting to acquire the gods over to her side. She looked far and wide for her lover, finally stumbling into a temple to Ceres where all was in slovenly disarray. As Psyche was working and cleaning, Ceres seemed, but refused any help but advice, saying Psyche must call entirely on Venus, the jealous shrew that caused all the difficulties in the first place. Psyche next called on Juno in her brow, but Hera, remarkable as often, said the same. Finally, Psyche found a temple to Venus and entered it. The goddess laughed loudly and asked her scornfully if she was seeking a partner because the one she had had would have nothing regarding her since he'd nearly died of the burning injury she had given him. "But really," she said, "you are so plain and ill favoured a lady you will never manage to get you a lover except by the most thorough and painful service." With that she mixed the smallest of vegetables into a big stack and ordered Psyche to split up all of the grains before nightfall. An ant took pity on Psyche and with its ant companions separated the grains on her. Venus was annoyed at her success and informed her to visit a field where wonderful sheep grazed and get some wonderful wool. A stream-god told Psyche that the sheep were harsh and strong and would kill her, but if she waited until noontime, the lamb might visit the color about the other part of the subject and sleep; she can find the wool that stuck for the branches and bark of the trees. Venus next asked for water to become loaded in a flask from the Styx and Cocytus flowing from a cleft which was difficult for a mortal to achieve because so smooth being its stones, was also guarded by great serpents. Now her saviour was an eagle, who set on his great wings, and with the flask on its beak, brought it back to her full of blackwater. But Venus maintained. One can't but accuse her of some stupidity. The only real influence of it all was that it made her more decided to test once again. Claiming the pressure of looking after her child has made her depressed and ill, causing her to lose a few of her beauty, she established Psyche on a job to go to the Underworld and ask Persephone, the king of the Underworld, to get a little bit of her beauty in a field that Venus gave to Mind. Mind decided the best solution to the Underworld is always to throw herself off some large spot and die and thus she rose for the top of a system. However the system itself spoke to her and shared with her the way through Tanaerum, a terrific hole within the earth that could enable her to enter the Underworld alive and return again, as well as telling her how to get by Cerberus, the three-headed nightmare dog by putting him a sop, then right down to where she must pay Charon, the ferryman, a dime to make her cross the water of the deceased, Styx; how to avoid additional dangers on the way there and back, and above all to eat of no food whatsoever; for otherwise she'd dwell forever in the Underworld. Psyche followed the instructions clearly and ate nothing while beneath the globe. Her next test she brought upon himself through her female interest and, still more, her mirror. Determining that she could use some beauty himself, she opened the field. Inside, she could see no beauty; instead a deadly languor took control of her and she fell to infernal sleep. At this moment the God of Love himself stepped forward. Cupid was cured of his injury by now and desiring Psyche. It's a hard issue to keep Love charged. Breaking open Venus' locks, he flew out searching for his wife. She was lying almost beside the structure, and he discovered her at once. In an instant he'd wiped the sleeping from her eyes and put it back the field. Then getting her with only a prick from one of his arrows, and scolding her just a little on her curiosity, he bade her to take Proserpine's package to his mother and he assured her that all then will be well.

As the joyful Psyche hastened on her errand, Cupid flew to Mount Olympus and begged Jove to aid them. Jove called a complete and formal authority of the gods, and declared it was his will that Cupid might marry Mind. Jove then had Psyche fetched to Mount Olympus, and gave her a drink created from ambrosia, giving her immortality. This, obviously, completely changed the situation. Venus could not object to a goddess on her child-in law, the alliance had become eminently suitable. Little doubt she reflected also that Mind, living up in heaven with a man and kids to care for, couldn't be much around the globe to turn men's minds and hinder her own worship. So, all found a most happy end. Love and the Spirit (for it's this that Psyche means) had wanted one another and, after painful trials, found a nation which could never be broken. Get acquainted with more about spicycupid

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bestfishingreel78-blog · 7 years ago

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Cupid and Mind - The Story of the Godliness of the Heart

There is once a master who'd three children, all lovely maidens, but the youngest, Psyche, excelled her sisters greatly. Her reputation spread, and from everywhere men sailed to gaze upon her with surprise and adoration and do her honor as though she were in fact one of the immortals, no one ever presented a considered to Venus herself. Her temples were ignored, her altars strong with cold ashes. Most of the rewards once hers were now fond of merely a woman destined someday to die. As often once the goddess was in some trouble, she flipped for help to her child, that beautiful winged youth whom some called Cupid among others Appreciate, against whose arrows there is no protection, neither in heaven nor to the world. "Use your power" said Venus, "and make the hussy fall madly in deep love with the vilest and many despicable person there's inside the whole world". Venus left Cupid with the happy assurance that he would rapidly result in Mind's ruin. What happened, however, was not what she had relied on. Psyche didn't fall in deep love with a horrible wretch. Infact, she did not drop inlove whatsoever. Both her siblings, although poor in beauty, were wonderfully committed, each to your master. Psyche, the all-beautiful, sat sad and sole, just admired, never liked. Her father eventually sailed to an oracle of Apollo to ask his advice on ways to get her a great husband. Apollo stated that Mind, dressed in deepest mourning, must be set on the peak of a rugged slope and left alone, which there her headed man, a frightened winged serpent, more powerful than the gods themselves, would come to her and make her his wife. Thus was completed, and on the large hilltop inside the night Psyche sat, waiting for she knew not what fear. As she wept and trembled, a delicate breath of oxygen, the gentle breathing of the west wind, Zephyr, came through and lilted her up; her problems left, she slept. She woke up besides a vibrant water and on its bank was a most stately mansion which appeared abandoned, but comments emerged which she could clearly hear. "We are your servants. Please enter the home without fear and bathe and refresh", the voices told her, laying a most luxurious banquet in thin air.

The bath was one of the most wonderful, along with the food probably the most delicious she had actually experienced, while a fantastic choir was performing to the harp. Throughout the day apart from the strange friendship of the sounds she was alone, in some mysterious way she felt sure that using the coming of the night her husband could be together with her. And so it happened. While she believed him beside her and noticed his voice softly murmuring in her ear, all her fears left her. She knew without seeing him that here was no monster or shape of terror, however the fan and partner she'd longed and waited for. She was content and time passed swiftly with this half-and-half companionship. One-night, however, her unseen man told her that her siblings were visiting weep for her at the peak of the mountain from where she'd disappeared, and that she should not meet them as it forbade sorrow for her. But the lady in her could not take this problem, and she wept and wept, till he informed her, "Do your path then." Zephyrus introduced the sisters down on his wings, and all rejoiced their meeting. They talked and spoke, however the sisters gradually grew extremely jealous to find out the grandeur and the riches of the construction that made their particular look drab in contrast. So they prepared a plot, and convinced their sister that her husband was in reality an evil, otherwise why should he avoid the light of the day and arrived at her invisible only on days. The two jealous sisters told Psyche, then pregnant with Cupid's child, that rumor was that she'd committed a great and horrible snake who would use her and her unborn child when her time came for this to be provided. They advised Mind to cover a blade and oil light in the bedchamber, to wait till her husband was sleeping, and then to light the lamp and slay him at once if it had been while they said. Psyche sadly followed their advice. Within the light of the lamp Psyche acknowledged the honest form on the sleep whilst the god Cupid himself, and cursing her folly, attempted to kill herself with all the blade she'd designed to use to use on him. However, she slipped the knife, and her spirits were raised as she gazed around the beautiful young god. She curiously examined his glowing arrows, and accidentally pricked himself with them, and was used with desire for her husband. She started to kiss him, but as she did, a drop of gas dropped from Mind's lamp and onto Cupid's chest and he awoke. He flew away, but she caught his foot and was carried with him until her muscles gave out, and she dropped towards the floor, ill at heart. Cupid, inside the meanwhile had opted to his mother's step to own his injuries looked after, however when Venus noticed his history and learned that it had been Psyche whom he'd chosen, she left him angrily alone in his pain, and went forth to obtain the lady of whom made her still more jealous. Poor Psyche in her despairing wanderings was looking to get the gods up to her side. She searched everywhere for her partner, finally stumbling into a temple to Ceres where all was in slovenly disarray. As Mind was sorting and cleaning, Ceres appeared, but refused any help but guidance, stating Mind should call directly on Venus, the jealous shrew that caused most of the issues inside the first place. Mind next called on Juno in her forehead, but Hera, excellent as generally, said the same. Finally, Mind found a temple to Venus and entered it. The goddess laughed aloud and asked her scornfully if she was seeking a husband since the one she had had would have nothing regarding her because he had almost died of the burning wound she'd given him. "But really," she said, "you are so plain and ill-favoured a girl you will never be able to enable you to get a lover except from the most thorough and painful service." With that she mixed the smallest of seeds in to a major pile and ordered Psyche to split up all the grains before nightfall. An ant took pity on Psyche with its ant friends separated the grains for her. Venus was annoyed at her success and informed her to attend a field where golden sheep grazed and acquire some fantastic wool. A stream-god told Psyche the sheep were harsh and solid and would destroy her, but when she waited until noontime, the sheep would head to the shade around the other aspect of the subject and rest; she can find the wool that stuck to the offices and bark of the woods. Venus next asked for water to become loaded in a flask from your Styx and Cocytus flowing from the cleft which was impossible to get a mortal to reach since so smooth being its stones, was also protected by great serpents. This time her saviour was an eagle, who positioned on his great wings, and with the flask on its beak, brought it back to her filled with black water. But Venus maintained. One can't but accuse her of some stupidity. The only real influence of all of it was that it made her more decided to test once again. Claiming that the pressure of looking after her daughter has made her depressed and ill, causing her to get rid of some of her beauty, she set Mind on a process to visit the Underworld and get Persephone, the queen of the Underworld, to get a little bit of her beauty in a package that Venus gave to Mind. Psyche decided the best approach to the Underworld should be to throw himself off some large area and die and so she climbed to the top of a tower. Nevertheless the tower itself spoke to her and told her the course through Tanaerum, a fantastic hole within the globe that might allow her to enter the Underworld living and return again, as well as telling her how to get by Cerberus, the three-headed nightmare pet by throwing him a sop, then right down to where she should pay Charon, the ferryman, a penny to create her cross the river of the deceased, Styx; how to prevent additional problems in route there and back, and most importantly to eat of no food whatsoever; for otherwise she'd stay forever in the Underworld. Psyche followed the orders clearly and ate nothing while under the globe. Her next trial she brought upon himself through her womanly interest and, still more, her vanity. Choosing that she can use some beauty himself, she opened the field. Inside, she can see no beauty; rather a deadly languor took possession of her and she dropped to infernal sleep. At this point the Lord of Love himself stepped forward. Cupid was relieved of his injury right now and desiring Mind. It's a hard issue to keep Love charged. Breaking available Venus' locks, he flew out searching for his wife. She was lying practically near the construction, and he found her at the same time. In a minute he'd wiped the sleeping from her eyes and put it in the field. Then getting her with just a prick from one of his arrows, and scolding her only a little for her awareness, he bade her to take Proserpine's field to his mother and he assured her that all then will be well.

As the happy Psyche hastened on her errand, Cupid flew to Mount Olympus and begged Jove to help them. Jove called the full and official authority of the gods, and announced it was his will that Cupid might marry Mind. Jove then had Mind fetched to Mount Olympus, and gave her a drink made from ambrosia, granting her immortality. This, ofcourse, totally changed the situation. Venus could not object to a goddess on her daughter-in-law, the alliance had become eminently suitable. Undoubtedly she reflected also that Mind, living up in paradise having a man and kids to care for, couldn't be much about the earth to show men's brains and restrict her own worship. So, all came to a most happy end. Love and the Soul (for this is what Mind means) had sought one another and, after painful trials, stumbled on a marriage that could never be broken. Get to know more about spicycupid

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fakeit-jenna · 7 years ago

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HARD TIMES || 18/05/2017

Jenna settled herself at the bottom of the bed, her legs still tangled with her husband as she watched him doze with their daughters. She felt calm, calmer than she had in months, now that her family surrounded her. So calm, so herself, that she decided to follow Dr Hoskin’s instruction to dig out her old journal. She set the book in her lap and flicked through the crumpled pages to find a clean one.

May 17, 2017

Hello old friend, It’s me again. I know it’s been a while but I guess it’s finally time again. Even the doctor thought so too. Of all the places that I thought I would find myself, I never wished it to be here, in another hospital away from both of my children. Right now, they’re sleeping here, Seren-Josie and Melody-Grace, two gorgeous little girls here with their mommy and daddy, rightfully. Only, I know that they do not belong, not here. They’re too young, too good, too innocent and pure for a place like Trenowl Institution. I know that it’s selfish to want them here.

Kier is here, of course, admitted two months before I finally lost it and joined him, neither of us coming willingly. Noir likes to believe that I did what I did because I couldn’t cope without my husband, my other half. But I know that it’s because I’m self destructive, Hoskin knows that too. I am pleased that I am with him, that we are surviving this place together. That I have my husband to protect, to comfort and to ground me as much as he can, as much as I need. He is the only one that seems to tug me back into the slightest sanity of myself. Recently, we celebrated our second anniversary. I think it’s fitting that it was here.

Though, Kier has me worried, worried that this place has changed him. I don’t mean physically, or changed him enough that it’s visible. But small things, some invisible changes that strikes me as different, unusual in the way that he behaves. I hate to even think about it. He’s absent, reluctant to share with me about his sessions with Noir, avoidant while I ask him about incidents with Lauren, with Jack…with Scott. Many nights, he’s retuned to the room with cracked and bruised knuckles, and lately, I’ve discovered the cause.

Jack Barakat. Well, Jack’s face to be precise. The fresh bruises on his jaw, the darkness surrounding his eyes and the cautiousness of his movements all makes sense to me now. All of the fear, inside of Jack, caused by Kier, by my very husband, the man who swore to protect me from harm. At one time, Kier would cringe at the thought and violence…and now… It scares me, to admit that he is capable of causing harm (despite what I already know.).

Jack, I have learned, has taken up the room in Adam’s bed. An emptiness left by Hayley’s affair, filled by his ex lover, his ex abuser. I wonder if Sisky is doing it to get back at Hayley, or whether he just craves the comfort Jack offers- though I’d never ask. Sometimes I worry about him, about the wounds that have been left in the boy. I just hope Jack doesn’t hurt him again too bad. It upsets me to see him like this, broken and shaken. I know it’s her fault, Andy’s too…as well as their unborn child.

Andy and Hayley, their affair caused so much upheaval that I’m afraid to return home. They betrayed Ashley’s trust, her faith and hope in her engagement. They took away the hope she had of returning home to her family, to begin living a life. I can honestly say it shocked me to hear, at first, that Andy would hurt her like he did. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware of his capability, of the past and part that I played in it. But I allowed myself to believe that he had changed, that he loved Ashley enough to change. I believed that my friend had fallen in love enough not to break her heart when she trusted him, when she needed him the most. But I can’t claim that I am surprised to learn that Andrew Biersack refuses to change. Stubborn ass that he is.

Hayley, however, I am shocked by- astounded even. Now I am aware that she loves Andy, that she craves his attention- and that he returns the sentiment. Yet, I never thought that she was capable of ruining another’s relationship without second thought of the consequences. I will admit that I am ashamed that she would hurt Ashley like that, and Sisky.

And I am furious to discover that they could be so careless, reckless and outright stupid about it. To discover that Hayley is with Andy’s child hurt me, hurt me differently to those they betrayed, but hurt me none the less. To know that they were irresponsible, and disrespectful of the people they would hurt, ignorant to the risk of introducing another life to our shitstorm. To know that they are responsible for the life of another scares me.

However, that does not mean that I will refuse to support Hayley, to offer her as much help as I can as she tries to correct her mistakes. I wish the same could be said for Hoskin. As much as it saddens me to think of, I will hold Hayley’s hand if she makes the decision not to carry this child.

I don’t believe that Aaron is being stubborn, or an asshole, no. I understand his reluctance, that he is enraged with what Hayley and Andy did to Sisky and Ashley. I understand his want and need to protect Ashley when she is vulnerable, he has always had a soft spot for the girl since the incident with Jack. Though, I hope that he would not punish Hayley, that he would not force her make a decision she does not want- or worse- to take that decision away from her.

The affair, as I have learnt was a need for comfort, to fill an absence left by the hospitalization of Adam and Ashley. However, I do not understand why the would be driven to cause so much harm, when they claim to love them so severely.

Andy, I believe, did love Ash. I believe that he loved her so much that the deteriation of her health caused him to grow distant. I have witnessed Ashley’s downfall myself, her alcoholism and reliance on substances rather than those who care for her. And I understand that it must be difficult for Andy to combat it while believing that he is enough for her. But that does not mean that I can justify his actions. When Ashley got ill, she needed him, and he should have cared and protected her so violently that he refused to leave her side. Yet, he distanced himself more. Classic Andy. He found comfort in another. I cannot blame Ashley for her decision to call off the marriage, and I hope that “Just-friends” William Tyler will take care of her. And Dakota.

I know that the knowledge of Ashley and another will hurt Andy, it will torment him. I know that he cares enough to be hurt by her finding safety in another, that it will break away another little chip of his ability to love. I worry that he will get worse because of it. But Ashley deserves to move on, and he seems occupied with Katy enough to get over it.

In regards to Dr Hoskin, I would like to believe that we have begun to make amends – since he willingly supported me through rough times. He provided me with answers that everybody else has been too afraid to share with me, helped me through an issue that continues to haunt me. He is not a bad man, nor is he a bad doctor, and I hope that he makes the right decisions regarding my friends.

May 18, 2017

As for myself, I have no real comment- at least not one that will make sense. Right now, I am calm, collected and responsible for my daughters- just like a good mother should be. But I do know that once they leave, the calmness inside of my chest will vanish too- unleashing the chaos contained inside. I feel it churning, even now, threatening to take control of me. I hope, for the sake of my girls, that it lasts long enough to enjoy the slightest normalities my family offer me.

I am fully aware that I am ill. That the illness I have been inflicted with and diagnosed will never truly leave me, and is infact incurable. But nobody told me that I would get worse. That I would deteriorate and lose the little control I have over myself. I was not warned that my illness could cost me my family, that I will lose all hope of retuning home. I want to live a full and happy life with my children and my husband.

The nightmares have worsened. There’s a worrying and unsettling urge to escape this hospital, the people in it, the person inside of me. I am afraid of who I am becoming, and I am terrified to seek help. I am afraid of them telling me that I am finally beyond help. The worst, is that I am afraid to let Kier see how much I am falling apart, in fear of him worsening himself. I want him to recover, to return and take care of our children and make sure they live the best lives we could possibly provide.

Kier’s incidents with Jack have scared me. And I am consumed by the thought of my husband being violent. Although I know with everything inside of me that Kier would never turn violent truly, or that he would harm me or our children, I am worried that this is changing him into someone bitter, someone harsh and colder that he was before.

I’m scared that I am losing myself, and the people that I love. The world and the family I have rebuilt around myself so many times is crumbling, and there is nothing I can do to stop it

#deardiary #.para.

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megamanishashekhawat-blog · 7 years ago

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Vashikaran can be done in various ways – either through rituals or through charms and amulets that you have to wear on your body.

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You can use this Vashikaran mantra to control both sex easily. This Vashikaran mantra to get back lost love is a very powerful one.

2. AUM HRIM SAH — The mantra attains power if it is chanted for a minimum of one lac times – especially on the day of Holi or any Solar or Lunar eclipse.

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After which, get the bhojpatra energized by the Vashikaran mantra 1108 times and dip it in pure honey for a minimum of 21 days to see the effects.

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After you are done with the vashikaran mantra – put a Tilak (from the ingredients ) on your forehead. You will notice your husband obeying you forever.

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“Omya Huuma (“Your Lover or Ex lover name”) May Vashyam Mai Kuruu Kuuruu Swaahaa.”

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In love there the chances of misunderstanding we can’t avoid, but the vashikaran mantra has the power to solve all the issues that you are facing in your love life.

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